My Zephyr of Life

Might as well write this since I'm still flipping

2012-01-26T01:44:00.002+08:00

Maybe its stressed, maybe its the repetitive annoyance.

So sick and tired of the two of you telling me that I'm doing an easy course when compare to the two of you. To be honest, I would dare say that if I put the two of you in my course, you would go nuts over it as it is definitely not your cup of tea.

And so what if you have consecutive papers? So what if I'm a bit tad relax when compare to you before exams. I simply just don't want to panic and screw my brains over as I think better when I'm calm.

And if I am relax, it means i'm pretty much confident of my abilities for the paper. I revise more than enough throughout the entire semester, and most of them are easily recallable as I read them almost everyday.

Just because I don't show it does not mean that I am not stress, or worry or taking anything lightly.

I just don't want to burden any of you with my problems. You have enough of your own, you don't need any of mine.

Trust them when they say Introduction to basic Accounting... they really do mean the basic like 1 + 1 =2 or 10. And if you think that is easy, that is because they are meant to be easy. What I've studied more is more than that and if you don't know the inside and out of a subject, please don't compare it to yours.

I have a thousand ways to put my foot on your course, and believe me, they aren't nice. So don't dare me. I'm serious.

Radio, CNY and Series!

2012-01-22T19:23:00.001+08:00

I think exam periods are one of the best and worst of all time. Its so stressful that you have limited time for revision, and no matter how much you try to cram, it just won't go in.

I've learnt it through my years of secondary schooling, colleges and the first two years in uni; Cramming is suicidal. ;P Trust me it does. So what are my methods then?

I still do my usual 're-write all my notes before exams' tradition. Its easier for me to read [my own handwriting, its simplify and well of course I read them as I write]. The important key that I've learnt to change, is after every few topics, try to find something interesting, link them with the topic you know and ask yourself some questions. I would often sidetrack to do minor research, read up on things and do further research.

Sidetracking is a dangerous business, but once you understand it beyond the lectures, it gets really darn easy to memorize and apply during the exams.

=] Try it! it works like a charm!

Sidetracking, Lin Lee introduced me to OneFM. I normally listen to HitzFm but since I'm craving for more chinese songs, have to improve my banana like chinese hehe. I'm getting better at Mandarin but I'm sensing that my Cantonese and Hokkien had deteriorate. ='[ This is bad! They are quite funny and I like the songs selection. A mixture of old and new with a twist of english here and there.

Only sad part is that they are playing too much CNY songs! RAWR! OMG I miss home so much. Had a Facetime earlier this morning as sis just bought herself an Iphone 4S as well. Hehe, now mummy wants one as well. Funny to see home cause the Phone is obviously so portable. Gives me a different feeling that a skype video session. =] I like this one more~

Series! Well de-stress/break/foodie time often equates to watching the tele or my lappy. In this case I've been watching HIMYM/TBBT but it wasn't enough. SO BBC iPlayer to the rescue. I've discovered Sherlock Holmes, brilliant show. =p He notices all the small things but of course aren't bothered by mundane human interactions. Somehow, I got a soft spot for this. =]

Pyin Nie and I swapped series. After Audit we went to Nero to have our cuppa coffee. Pyin Nie and I were all having abnormal sleeping patterns. Could say our body clock went cuckoo. ;]. Pyin Nie had valid reasons of course, she was jet-lagged. I on the other hand, none.

So I have gotten her to watch Sherlock Holmes, and in return she has gotten me to watch Hustle. Mind you, I was more merciful as Sherlock Holmes only had 2 seasons with 3 episodes each. Hustle on the other hand, is on series 8. @.@ Kill me please. Its a funny series though. About con man doing what they do best, conning people.

Got one by Jac though, The Secret Circle. I haven't started on that yet but will do soon, I hope. After I'm done with all these bloody papers.

Okay, toodle loo for now ;)

I wonder

2012-01-14T15:08:00.002+08:00

If new year resolutions are any good. Mine has always been the same, i.e 'The same resolution I made last year~'

To be honest I wanted to do something like 'down memory lane' when 2011 was about to end, but I guess I was too carried away with present obligations for that.

So this is a tiny wee bit of update.

I'm currently 'cramming' for my exams which starts on the 17th.

*Achoo*, bless my own soul. =]

那些年

2012-01-10T10:54:00.000+08:00

Exams is around the corner! I don't want to look back and say 那些年, 如果我做了不同的事情。

Therefore I'm gonna study study study till my brain burst =D

Jiayou everyone and good luck! FD is a bitch, I know ;) But we are better than it!

你不知道的事。。。

2011-12-21T11:32:00.000+08:00

听说，你知道我最好的。实话，你不知道我的所有。我是一样的。

这几年，

在眨眼间，人来，人走。

有时我的心跳，为你跳。

'你'，有太多的“你”。

为什么会这样呢？

“柴米油盐酱醋茶'，就像王力宏说，在他的歌曲，

“月儿弯弯爱的傻，有了你什么都不差”。

我白痴的，认为永恒的东西这样会发生。

当它发生的时间，我没有照顾，让他走。

当我开始关心，它就走了。

人们犯错太容易了，我了解到，。

目前的我，不会让这些错误再次发生。

我会永远照顾当前的'你'，不管你是谁。

因为，我只是希望我身边的人得到幸福，

和我自己的幸福。

初恋，第二次恋爱，第三次爱，所有这些爱，

教我成为一个更好的人，

一个更好的人，可以给'你'幸福。

Sometimes

2011-12-08T22:24:00.000+08:00

Its a nice runaway. =] carefree, happy. I like the way it is.

So little time

2011-12-01T20:12:00.000+08:00

(ohhhh) (ohhhh)

Don't you forget about me,

When you're a celebrity,

It will be only you and me

Before too long.

So little time so much to do,

I rather spend my days with you,

So little time so much to do,

I'd like to spend one day with you,

And if that day is not enough,

Maybe we can stay in touch,

But i'm not making plans for tomorrow,

For tomorrow never comes.

(ohhhh)

Oh yes dear assignment, I rather spend my time with you =D

轉

2011-11-28T19:39:00.000+08:00

轉：如果有一天，你走进我的心裡，你會哭，因為裡面全是你。如果有一天，我走进你的心裡，我也會哭，因為那裡沒有我。有一天，在喧鬧的城市裡我們擦肩而過，我會停住脚步，凝視那個远去的背影，告訴自己女人我曾經愛過。我以為只要認真地喜歡，就可以打動一個人，原來，卻只打動了我自己。

勁慘。

Taken from Ivya Luan with a slight modification from '那' to '女' =)

Perfect in the Past

2011-11-24T06:32:00.003+08:00

"I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shead a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you"

Miley Cyrus - I Miss You

Ashlee Simpson - Pieces Of Me

2004, how childish was I back then =']

"i did it on purpose, i want u 2 hate me. sometimes u r juz being too nice that u cant differentiate whether sum1 s being evil 2 u or not."

Its funny how I still kept this email. Sigh, actually to think about it, its not funny at all. I kept it because I want to remember, to never forget every single detail of it. But there's this little thorn inside of me, a hint of regret.

"how can i say diz str8?

im not putting d blame on any1,

i admit, its no one's fault, it juz went off lyk dat n i didnt expect it."

I sometimes laugh at myself. Sometimes in life, the easiest escape is to run. When you have too much pressure, when you don't know what to do, the easiest option is to cut loose. Free yourself from all problems, start a new, never looking back or think about it, ever again.

Easier said than done.

"but talk is cheap, aite? guess i cant do anything bout it anymore, hahaha..."

Those 'hahaha'. must be a hard one to type. The one that eases and numbs the pain. Reminds me of the lyrics from Halfway Gone by Lifehouse ; "Talk , talk is cheap. Give me a word you can keep~"

Sometimes I don't really know what I want. I was lonely and now I have company. But I am still unsatisfied and I still feel lonely. What is missing in my life? I have friends, family, work colleagues, a partner, and a future plan. What exactly is missing?

I think that somehow I know what it is, but yet again I'm a cowardly fool. I am afraid to face my past, of the wrong decisions that I've made. But day after day I still ponder of the question, what if.

So the question is : What should I do if I feel regretful about my past?

I've tried shutting it away, keeping myself preoccupied but it only works well when I am busy. Every night before I sleep, besides thinking of my loved ones, YOU appear to me, haunting me.

"Remember when I cried to you a thousand times

I told you everything

You know my feelings

It never crossed my mind

That there would be a time

For us to say goodbye

What a big surprise

But I’m not lost

I’m not gone

I haven’t forgot

These feelings I can’t shake no more

These feelings are running out the door

I can feel it falling down

And I’m not coming back around

These feelings I can’t take no more

This emptiness in the bottom drawer

It’s getting harder to pretend

And I’m not coming back around again

Remember when…"

Avril Lavigne - Remember When

I'll remember our 'tryst'. I miss you dearly. I've move on to try to love another now. But know always you'll be my first and I loved you so.

Now I know why the first cut is the deepest.

Here's an extract of an article I've found online.

"Yet, in truth, no one forgets their first love. How could they? It's just not possible to forget that tingling sensation you feel when you fall in love for the very first time.

Your first love brings up emotions that you may never have felt before - wild and passionate and almost startling in their intensity, almost a pure version of strong emotions that, later on in life, experience teaches you to dilute."

With each passing one, I'm having less expectations. I no longer care about that giggly feeling I felt when I was waiting, nor the anxiety that paced me up when I was on the other line. No more 'You hang up first , I did it the last time we talked', nor texting every single other minute and gigling to myself.

No longer do I care if we were miles a part, your evil and un-romatic side, you being possessive or materialistic, or even you being a total bitch. To be honest, all my 'ban' list are now withdrawn. I just don't care now. As long as you are sincere to me, that is all I'll ever ask for. Not your time, your attention, nor will I don you with things you wouldn't prefer, or bug you excessively to do this and that.

That long long list that I've often wish to find in my perfect partner, has only one item on it right now.

Really didn't meant this post to be that emo. It started with a song and just carry on like that.

Last bit :

"not very likely to happen to you. 2 of us can lock ourselves in our respective room lor."

To be honest, I really don't mind locking myself in my room while I do my work =P.

"First loves are wonderful. They are perfect just as they are. In the past."

I've thought for a long time, memories are just memories. I loved the past you, and I'm not even sure how you are right now. So I won't spoil my memories by rekindling the flame with you again, no matter how much I want to give it a go again.

However so, you still look cute. AND YOU ARE NOT FAT! =D

Toodle-loo~

Its a bit funny and sad really.

2011-11-22T19:58:00.000+08:00

Sometimes 'harmless' questions can hurt people in a way that you couldn't imagine. It might be the mood swings, or perhaps they just perceive it on a different level than you do

To one, its a mean of getting by, catching up.To another, it is the past that they wish to kept hidden, buried.

Funny how this never occur to me, perhaps it has never occur to the other party as well when I was at the receiving end. At this moment, we will put up a fake smile, act tough and go on with life.

I find these 'lies' to often now, I don't think I want to care about it any more. If you have something to say, you should say it or forever hold your tongue.

People aren't mind readers I can tell you that.

Whatever that is worth, maybe its a slight payback. Its too early to say but getting disappointed on your birthday, now that is a $%^&*.

Karma's a bitch, and we learn to live with it.

On another note, yet another 'O'. Let see how this turns out =)

PS: Izzie, a memory of the past, I guess you will always be just that. Sometimes I hate the Virgo in me. Can't I just learn from my mistakes and let go of the 'perfectionist' in me?

Maybe not. Toodle-loo!

A twisted post

2011-11-15T15:03:00.002+08:00

Friday 8 , August 8 , 2008

The winter flows through my veins,
As the chills pricked my spine,
The sound of eerie howl,
Makes me crawl and prowl.

Thy love is fake,
As so the thought is brewed,
And everlasting life to take,
The end is cruel.

So let the time flies,
Into the abyss thou shall flow,
As the scarlet sky dies,
My love goes below.

Let thy true self be revealed,
Unmasked the emotion of thy heart,
For as long as I live unveiled,
A hole exist in thy heart

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Soshite, watashiwa bakasu.
Watashino setsusetsu mousukoshi mousukoshi shibomu.
Doko anatano koideshou?

My First, my past, how awkward to be still thinking of it. Maybe Virgos do think of the mistake they did in the past. Probing holes, hope this one can fill in the holes.

Let the 'Rain' Fall Fall~

<3

To the left to the left =P

2011-11-15T14:46:00.000+08:00

November has been swell, first term is almost at its end! Weee~

Though it also mean coursework submission is drawing closer and closer.. Pfft! >.<

Well, what can I say? Dramas and Movies, you have to go aside. Ice cream, pringles and soda. You're all welcome aboard while I read up journals and write horrendously!

I will smile everyday cause I won't know when it will be my last, and I let the past taunts me.

Ah Heroes, and Hiro =P 'Yatta!'

=S

2011-11-11T13:34:00.000+08:00

Rotten time table is a bitch. And my body is still in 'Reading Week'. Which is NOT good at all. Its 4 hours to my 5 hour lecture now. And I woke up at 8pm. =/. Had a headache yesterday and ended up not going for lectures.

I still read the slides though, seems that i've didn't miss much. (Although I am sure those who actually went will be dazzled by the lecturer). Binomial Tree and Black Scholes tend to have that effect on most people =].

What am I doing now? Can't Maple, connection sucks at my place. Seems like the only place I can play is at Grosvenor Street Area.

Called Dad this morning (Malaysia time). Wished him Happy Birthday. Its nice to have it this year, 11.11.11. =P

Rain hates that number, well the addition of it '6'.

By the way the answer to this question is 14 right? O_O Why people keep giving 0?

1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 - 1 + 1 x 0 = ?

15 - 1 + 0 = 14.

Drats. I should do some IQ test soon. I feel like my speed in recognising pattern and thinking has been getting slightly slower.

And I wonder did Fan Ting did come to Manchester last weekend? Should give her a ring, miss the bugger. Why o why do you have to do placement year?!

=P Windy [Zephyrus] signing off. <--- now this looks gay.

PS: IH You should stop being sad, insecure, and grumpy. People around you love you, so be happy and don't bother about those rotten people, even if you have once cared and loved them. Be happy when they are, but don't let their negative emotion affect you. You're just bringing trouble yourself for worrying. [Though I doubt you will read this anyway, but still.... =D]

PPS: .(^-^). Huggies for my love. ; ], so sorry I've been busy!

=)

2011-11-03T08:43:00.000+08:00

This time, there wasn't any plan or thoughts. It felt right, feel right, so I just went with it.

Maybe this is what people say when the time is right or 'The Right Moment'.

I'm still surprise with myself. I guess I still can give surprises to myself when I give it a go.

=) Autumn Atom. Cheerio!

I remember saying this..

2011-10-31T09:22:00.000+08:00

I don't want tags, for those who are just in for the sake of 'it'. I want something that is pure and consistent, that we don't need a tag to remind us of what we meant to each other. Buddies, Pals, Besties, GF/BF , BBF whatnot.

Say it with me~

2011-10-29T07:34:00.000+08:00

Say it with me,
Say ha ha ha~
Say it with me,
Say la la la~

Say it with me, say it with me,
Cause I just want you to know.

Here and now, there and then,
These little thoughts, is creeping in my head,
These little sounds, of what could have been,
Are turning to what it could be...

Say it with me,
Say ha ha ha~
Say it with me,
Say la la la~

Say it with me, say it with me,
Cause I just want you to know.

Come a little closer baby,
These last few days has been a little crazy,
I upside down and all around,
I think I'm falling down.

Say it with me,
Say ha ha ha~
Say it with me,
Say la la la~

Say it with me, say it with me,
Cause I just want you to know.

Inside out, up and down,
I'm jumping around, flinging all around,
You're not in my sight, but does it matters,
Cause as long as you know I'm fine~

Say it with me,
Say ha ha ha~
Say it with me,
Say la la la~

Say it with me, say it with me,
Cause I just want you to know.

Don't know what to say

2011-10-27T07:26:00.000+08:00

Sometimes people tell you one thing, force it into your head, and you believe them.

Right after that, they start doing things totally opposite of what they have just told you.

Now, what should I believe in now?

Hate pretenders, if you are so from the start, tell me instead of just pretending to get my favour.

I dreamt a dream =]

2011-10-24T08:22:00.002+08:00

Love the giggles when you wake up from a funny dream, or that fast pacing moments when something from your Book of Terror chases you.

But what if you woke up with a contended smile and a heavy sigh?

This was just that particular dream.

I was with this girl. She seems resemble someone from my past *Name will henceforth be H, as I know that person hates me by now*. She was blind and we were dating each other. Ignoring her disability, I continue to shower her with care and it was bliss.

Till..

We were going to the cinema to watch a movie and I bump into a group of friends. Friends I rarely talk to but could we could all rely on each other since we share a common history *ehem, KYS*. And I began to talk to this guy, A. To be honest, this guy got kicked out from KYS back then and at first I find him kind of snoobish, but when I was 'rising', he began to mingle around with me. [I guess back then, jocks mingle with you once you turn semi-jock.].

Back to the story...

We talked and talked. It's been years since we have last seen each other and somehow in the mist of that, I forgot about H. When I remember and say goodbye to A and went to look for H. She was sitting down, facing a huge green teddy bear. [Don't ask me why it was green. Maybe it was because both our favourite colour were green]. She was talking to it, telling IT her secrets and her hopes, crying in between.

I felt bad, terribly bad.

She was still there, waiting for someone that had abandoned her.

How could I have left her? Forgotten about her to talk to some acquaintance of mine?

I went towards her and she looked at me. Staring back at me was that angry stare of her's, normally accompanied with a silent hmpffff. I said nothing and hug her closely, bringing her small little head towards my chest.

And that is when I woke up.

Which had me saying, 'H, I'm sorry for that one time I let you down.'

I cried a while and I wonder. Is this my subconscious mind telling me what I have known all this while? Don't be Mr. Nice Guy and be friendly and helpful to everybody, cause that one person won't feel special at all. And whilst you are out there helping others, she is back there all alone, snuggling that one little thing you bought for her.

I remember how she cherish that promise ring that wasn't worth much. And I remember how we would travel distance just to meet up with each other. And then I recall the times where she would calmly scold me for sending her gifts from halfway across the globe, while secretly smiling when she read the notes and cards I sent her.

'This dream had reminded me on how precious things are to me. And how ignorant I have been of them. They should not be treated equally and Adrian, you have to learn how to differentiate these needs.'

I'm still waiting for that one day where I can sit and enjoy the sunset with the person I love.

Sunrise was a bitch but we had fun = ]

PS: I am surprise that the blind girl resembles H. It was so long ago but I guess that was one of my biggest regret. It wasn't a mistake but I wish it could have ended somewhat happier.

The List

2011-10-22T12:26:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking of doing something at the moment.

It shall be called THE LIST.

I'll be interviewing some friends for this 'project'. So don't be surprise that I'll actually go and find you!

Sincerely,
Adrian

Indecision

2011-10-20T11:51:00.004+08:00

Part 1

2 Episodes down and I'm still not done watching Single Father ='[. Its so sad and heartbreaking that I don't really feel like watching it.

It makes me cry every single time ='[

Anyway, this is gonna be a random post.

Part 2

Remember the time when we get kisses? (Hersheys?)

Sweet innocent moments that goes like this;

Boy: I'm gonna give you 10 kisses!

Girl: I'm gonna give you 20 kisses!

Boy: Then, I'll give you 30 kisses!

Teacher: You guys are two young to be kissing.

Girl and Boy both turn and look at their Teacher.

Boy: We're talking about Hershey kisses Ma'am. We are both chocolate addicts.

=____=

Part 3

*typo in the picture, risk not rish, but its the underlying message that counts*

I miss being a teen, in high school where everything is simple.

Part 4

Sentimental, Honest, Patient, Insecure

I'm really that huh? =S

Part 5

Seriously, I have to open up. But the what ifs really do terrifies me. I really need a little bit of 勇气 right now.

But Dude, you've been trying for so long. Like really....

Stop Dazing already! I sometimes thing Realist thinks to much. About probabilities, futures, options, current scenario. Sometimes I wish I'm a little more adventurous. Not afraid to jump into something knowing it might not work, just for the heck of it.

Funny thing is, I'm a 'Yes' man. I can't really say 'No' to anyone if I can help it.

I guess its more of me being like this :

But who's gonna be there for me?

With my feelings, its always 'It's not possible', 'No, it wouldn't work' etcetera.

Three times I took the leap of faith and went against my own principal. I wonder will there be a forth?

Part 6

Part 7

Every new day of my life, is another day worth smiling.

A little

2011-10-15T11:14:00.001+08:00

Just a little, I'm feeling a bit jealous =[. Green eye monster me. Boo hoo!

写比讲好...

2011-10-14T08:21:00.001+08:00

她说，只有孤独的男孩玩DOTA的。但是，我觉得打的是释放压力的好办法。跑来跑去，像一个白痴喊，杀了这里，死在这里，很好玩了！
我慢慢地滑了我的话，希望不要是显而易见的。一起打篮球，喝酒，跳舞，四处走走，这是生活中的所有简单的事情。
幸福是很容易的。这一点，我相信。 = D

来吧，我们一起笑！

哈哈！！
哈哈！！
*由于胃抽筋笑太多*
哈哈~

我没事，你不用担心我。时间不会完全愈合，但我已经移动。

Look for a star~

2011-10-13T08:11:00.000+08:00

Happiness, we have to grab it ourself, isn't that so?
I'll reach out my hands, and grab the imaginary 'you' in front of me.
I know I am out of your league, but one day I'll stand in front of your doorstep,
Holding a single red rose, confessing my love to you,
Hoping that you would to say '小笨蛋, 你这样做，我很高兴'...

But alas I'll just have to wait.
I used to wait for a perfect time, just to say it all out.
I am a perfectionist after all! 哈哈！
I've tried to jump in, to not wait for 'it'.
Nevertheless, it ended horribly.

So this time, I'll make it right,
I'll plan, coordinate the perfect date,
But whatever goes wrong, I'll improvise!
So that it will still be perfect in our eyes.

我不希望在英语语言说“我爱你”...
因为它让我想起一个痛苦的经历，
这就是为什么我会说'我爱你“，而不是 'I love you',
我真的很想再相信爱情
上帝，请给我勇气。

A tale of fishes, bears, koala, cats, dogs and monkeys

2011-10-12T23:37:00.001+08:00

I need to find people who like humans =P. Period.

2011-10-11T22:58:00.003+08:00

Blood Type A

Best Traits: Conservative, introverted, reserved, patient and punctual. Perfectionists.
Worst Traits: Obsessive, stubborn, self conscious and uptight.

Just to repeat that: While outwardly calm, they have such high standards (perfectionists) that they tend to be balls of nerves on the inside. Type A's are the most artistic of the blood groups. They can be shy, are conscientious, trustworthy, and sensitive.

Population

Roughly 34% of the world is A +ve and 6% A -ve.

Traits

Obedient, Careful, Sympathetic, Self-Sacrificing, Polite, Honest, Loyal, Emotional, Introverted & Nervous.

Are reserved calm and even tempered. Sensitive to public opinion. May be Introverted, shy and nervous or ill at ease with others. May be Pessimistic. Value relationships and are loyal. Hesitant to change. Nature lovers and dislike crowds - need a private place or secret hideaway. Can be indecisive. Good at team work and obey rules.

Dislike to touch or be touched by others.

[I guess trying several times to change my personality isn't going to work. I've tried to be somebody else to run away from myself, but it terrifies people around me. ='[ ]

From another viewpoint:

Speaking broadly, it is said that people with Type A Blood are calm, composed, and very level-headed and serious. They have a firm character, and are reliable and trustworthy (and hardheaded). They think things over and make plans deliberately, and they plug away at things steadily and assiduously. They try to make themselves more like their own ideal of what they should be. A Types may look aloof or distant to others. They try to suppress their own emotions, and because they have continual practice in doing this, this makes them appear strong. But, actually, they have a fragile, nervous side, as well. They tend to be hard on people who are not of the same type, and so they consequently tend to be surrounded with people of the same temperament.

People with blood type A have a deep-rooted strength that helps them stay calm in a crisis when everyone else is panicking. However, they tend to avoid confrontation, and feel very uncomfortable around people. A types are shy and sometimes withdrawn. They seek harmony and are very polite, but all the same feel that they never really fit in with others. A types are very responsible. If there is a job to be done, they prefer to take care of it themselves. These people crave success and are perfectionists. They are also very creative, and the most artistic of all the blood types, most likely because of their sensitivity.

From another viewpoint:

Basic personality: you are sensitive, serious, calm, sympathetic, polite, honest, loyal, perfectionist, creative, punctual, reliable, artistic, obsessive, private, introverted, cautious, nervous and responsible.

Your strengths: you are a gentle soul, a natural people person and a good team player. People warm to your quiet, understated manner. You're a bit on the shy side and, while you enjoy the company of others, you also need time on your own. You're the type that always appears calm in a crisis. You never raise your voice, or throw a tantrum. You are very loyal, reliable and conscientious.

Your weaknesses: you often give more of yourself than you get back, and you're not as confident as you appear. In fact, you often feel as if you're not good enough and beat yourself up mentally over imagined weaknesses and failings. Too much stress can leave you feeling worried. You're prone to obsessive-compulsive behaviour and you also tend to suppress your emotions.

Your ideal job: you would be good in any job that requires attention to detail: lawyer, accountant, administrator, graphic artist, web designer, picture restorer, novelist, economist, architect, doctor, nurse, psychologist.

How you love: you have a sensible, traditional approach to love and the idea of marriage and family appeals to you. That's not to say you're immune to passionate affairs, but flighty, unpredictable people (typical type B's) aren't good for your mental health. You want someone as committed as you, so your best match is with another type A or with a type AB who is sensitive like you, but more easy-going.

[Guess I'm still towards the traditional type, flings aren't going to work. I found myself drawn back to wanting a lasting relationship even though I only said I wanted companionship, sigh]

Potential problems: you can be too perfectionist and uptight. Your tendency to repress your emotions could lead to health worries in the long term - for example high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease and problems with your digestion.

[Not telling means nothing, nothing means I'm not telling!]

Exercise and wellbeing: you'll benefit from activities and therapies that help you unwind. Choose calming mind/body exercises like yoga, pilates, t'ai chi and qi gong. Also, anything that helps you loosen up generally - walking, golf, hiking and dancing would be great for you. Talk to friends when you feel anxious or worried. If you find it really hard to open up, a course of psychotherapy might help. Massage (aromatherapy and sports) will help to keep you supple.

One question, why I keep on falling for O type people? They are clearly not suitable for me but yet 3 consecutive O type people?

Oh gawd, hide me from O type people please!

Problem?

Take a jump!

2011-10-10T03:41:00.000+08:00

I sometimes wonder, what pushes someone to make the first step?

Courage? Fear? Insecurity? Do or Die situation?

Taking the first step is always the hardest. That's why I scorn when someone says, 'If you take the first step, I'll take the next 99 steps' [Or what so ever similar statement.]

But don't take my word for it. This is just one confuse guy ranting his thoughts out. =]

Whether you want to take a leap of faith, venture into the unknown or just stay comfortable as it is right now, it is wholeheartedly up to you.

Strangers, coldness... was that short period of bliss worth it? I really do wonder. =)

I really should stop spending

2011-10-09T10:16:00.003+08:00

Dear ME ,

Please stop buying everything you see and fancy!

My wallet does not agree with you at the moment.

And regarding food/groceries, please finish up the one in the fridge first!

(ˇ▼ˇ)-C<ˇ_ˇ) Pinch pinch!!!

Yours truly,

Myself.

PS: You better open up 'that' can by next week!!! Stop procrastinating! And then you'll be happy, my wallet will be happy, everyone will be happy. (˛•̃•̃)/\(•̃•̃¸) *Mimics DW* Happy Happy!

PPS: I'll promise you a treat in January okay? Ice cream craze and a a trip to somewhere special!

Dear....

2011-10-09T01:26:00.003+08:00

Every single time when I ask what are you up to or planning to do, you'll reply 'shopping.'

Stop shopping! Argh, I can't keep up with you. =D

真的！我真的不能！

2011-10-07T02:34:00.000+08:00

An insecure person can be dangerous.

He's afraid, terrified and lost.

He doesn't know what he wants, nor where he wants to go.

Such thoughts are enfeebling his mind, body and soul.

These past few weeks, I can't really see myself anymore. Things I thought I used to know, people that I used to be with, they all seem so far away. I always thought I could hang on, I could keep hanging on that fine thin thread. But what if it wasn't thin at all? Nor was it a thread?

What if it was only a mist, an imaginary thread?

I think it is dangerous that I'm distancing myself from people. Perhaps I'm leaning more towards the introvert side of myself. Shut myself from the outside world. Trust none. Total shutdown. Aucune aide du tout?

Some people asked me do I trust them?

To be honest, I couldn't bring out that simple 'yes'. Deep inside I don't want to lie, and yet I do not wish to say it out loud. I don't trust anyone. The saddest part is, I don't even trust myself. I'm in doubts at the moment.

It is like the raindrops pouring downon a dark and cloudy night. Thunderstorm hails, quite tropical like in fact. I think that I would be best for me to rely on my human instinct for now. Just for now~

Retreat, recoup, and what next?

I seriously don't know.

Time like this feels like hanging on to the southern wind. Where ever it decides to blow, I'll follow.

I hate the insecurity in me. I hate that I'm doubting myself.

But most of all, I hate that I'm doubting everyone.

To those who are indirectly or directly affected by my tantrum, I'm not gonna apologize. I have apologize to much so if you can't stand this, please just go away.

2011年9月30日

2011-10-01T10:37:00.003+08:00

今晚，是一个有趣的夜晚！遇到很多人。

一起喝酒，一起玩游戏。

玩黑白色，是很好玩的发挥。

但是，当太阳升起，我会看不到你了。

像做梦一样，扑而去。

但是我会说，再见，祝你好运！

我很高兴我遇见了你这样的朋友。 =）

Can't seem to shake this question off , ever. (For now)

2011-09-27T21:25:00.001+08:00

I wrote something long, but I decided not to publish it and delete it instead. Its sensitive and I probably shouldn't write it at all. But it does irk me a lot.

But if I do publish it, I might as well join the rank of hypocrites walking on this earth.

Gawd I miss the days where I was not subjected to this feeling.

Skinny Roomiez~

2011-09-26T05:54:00.002+08:00

Skinny Love

I told you to be patient

I told you to be fine

I told you to be balanced

I told you to be kind

Now all your love is wasted?

Then who the hell was I?

Now I'm breaking at the britches

And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?

Who will fight?

Who will fall far behind?

I Can't Make You Love Me

'Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me.
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holdin me
Mornin will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight.
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.'

Time to go back to university. My Ipod screen is broken due to some blond girl knocking it out from my hand during Avril's Concert. Its sad but I ain't feeling it yet cause the concert was so freaking awesome!

Time to start studying and listen to songs in my room. =D I've decorated it well and it smells nice ^^.

I'll leave all my problems and worries behind me and I'll just look and work hard for the future.

The present is where you are now but the future is where you will be, It doesn't matter now, just work hard for the future.

Why?

2011-09-21T23:23:00.003+08:00

'So why~ hy~ hy~ hy~ hy~ hy~ hy~

Just a small amount of happiness =). '

Life has been a bit topsy-turvy lately. Things happens, shit happens. I thought it would only occur next year, but somehow 'it' managed to creep itself earlier. I felt that it is a bit odd (strange nevertheless) , but I won't question why, or be sad about it nor would I go back on my word.

I was in it ready to let it go, in order to safeguard 'it'. So if I was not being taken seriously, I might as well focus on other stuffs and steer my life into a different direction, one that (hopefully) would compensate the past 21 years of my life.

Yet again, planning is a waste of time.

Freshers week is going on. I don't really feel like hoarding a lot of free Dominos coupons anymore. I'm still sick of that one week craze of double thin crust with cheese, or whatever it was called crust. Eurgh >.<

And the clubbing scene still feels like a stranger to me.

I still like to sit at the side and watch other people dance instead of me, myself dancing.
I still dislike drinking excessive amount of alcohol. (Of course unless its a 'toast' for the birthday girl/boy'.
But I do like the music played there,
However, I think it is best enjoyed with the scene, observing.
Its funny to see how carefree and crazy people can be in the clubs.

這一幕，我很快就會錯過它。

PS: I need to write more in English. I have noticed that my Malaysian-English and Chinese-English is slowly overpowering my writing! Argh!

一天

2011-09-19T01:28:00.002+08:00

每天要小心一点，
不知道什么时候会下雨，
不知道什么时候将有大的风，
不知道什么时候我会笑还是会哭，
情感，坚强和混乱。
一个人的寂寞，有强心，
但可能不会持续太久。
只是在等待，
等待那一天。

Memories....

2011-09-16T08:09:00.002+08:00

'No matter how much I wish to return, I never move from this spot

When I close my eyes, you are always there smiling

Every time I remember that smile, tears flow from my eyes

I am not strong enough to say good-bye to the past and move on

Yet those memories are not flimsy enough to get carried away by the waves of time

That's why I've always...

I'll never forget, wherever I am

Whatever I do I'll always think of you

Even if I lose sight of the road I already traveled

Even if I cannot return to those days, The footprints on the ground will always be there

I will always wish that the day will come where we will meet

And laugh with each other....'

21 years in this world. I wonder, what have I gotten myself into and what have I achieved? It has been a roller coaster ride this past 9 years, from my life changing enrollment into an elite high school, going to college and finally to enrolled in a university in the UK [top 30 in the world nevertheless]. I wonder, if I had make a different decision back then, not following you ;) , how different would my life have been?

Working life isn't so bad at all. Thanks to Kumari, Martha, Muja, and all YSD Staffs (Farib , whom I always love to disturb, Che Din who sits next to me :p, Intan who entertains me whenever I stopped by the Education Sponsorship Team cubicles, Zerizan and Ismail and the list goes on and on =)). You guys make me feel that working can be enjoyable!

Religion aside, turning for a church raised Christian, into learning about other religion, becoming and Elder and holding the Melchizedek Priesthood, an Elder, to enter the temple and perform baptism for the dead and then finally into an Agnostic Atheist while searching for my own truth, its been a while and still a long journey ahead.

People have list of things they want to do before they are 30, 40 or even 21, cause 21 marks the age when you are actually being recognise as an adult. I never gave a thought of that list but as this night draws closer to an end, I gave it a thought.... 'Have I done everything I wanted to before I'm 21?'.

The answer is YES.

I shall live a life with no regrets. =) No worries, just living life to the fullest. It hurt me that some memories are bitter sweet, with the bitter part overwhelming that little drop of sweetness, but I'm still happy for it.

I thank thee because it happened, and I was there to experience it. =)

I laugh at those silly versions of me in the past,

That is because I have grown and learnt to see the 'silly-ness' of my former self.

^^ But life needs to be a little silly, don't you think?

Cheers, to the years ahead of me!

如果...

2011-08-07T12:24:00.002+08:00

如果明天来了，
我还是一样的我，
你还是把我一样吗？

如果明天来了，
我忘记了我是谁，
你会提醒我，我是谁吗？

如果明天来了，
而你不在我身边了，
你会过来找我吗？

如果明天来了，
我不是相同的我，
你会说嗨吗？

如果明天来了，
我还是我自己，
我会笑，因为这是我所采取的路径。

Lack of time..

2011-07-31T02:03:00.000+08:00

Lack of time and busy.. I'm getting too tired these days but I wonder how Martha still update her blogs daily. :] Must have been done during office hours! hehe

Anyway here's a song :p I finally found the mv after procrastinating for so long. Well you know me.

Reminder to self!

2011-07-24T22:52:00.002+08:00

Blog on Merlimau and blog on Ayer Keroh :) I'm too tired to talk now so good night.

Work is catching on me... all those years trying to avoid work ;)

Scholars camp and Results

2011-07-09T03:52:00.000+08:00

Can't believe this will be my last scholars camp. It only felt like yesterday that I was in Carey Island meeting all those Pre-u students. Shortly after that is the London camp where I first met our CEO and now its towards the end.

But the camp... oh the camp :P This was tiring and fun! The last few we always end early (around 10-ish) but this is the first time we finish our day around 12-3am. Our time management were really put to the test this time.

Its really nice to meet our fellow scholars from Indonesia, Singapore and Hong Kong :). We were all in our own comfort zone during the first day where we just mingle among ourselves but that soon went away.

We are just young people with the urge to learn and have fun!

Unfortunately, being sleepy is one thing I find to be the cause of my lowered performance level. I'm still in hibernation mode :D. Sleeping around 16 hours a day [Darryl's gonna kill me for this, I'm such a koala :D]. I find my presentation slightly slurred towards the end when I just want to finish it A.S.A.P. No wonder Ms. Nadia said I was mumbling towards the end. Truth to be told, I just don't have the energy to project my voice across the hall (All thanks to the sore throat I early that morning).

All in all, its great. I've learnt a lot and I still have a lot to learn!

Now towards the uninteresting parts, 2nd year University results~

When I first open my email, I found the results notification email. So far so good. No resit emails (Good news) but no best student email as well =(. I was looking forward to it. However, looking at the reduced effort I put into university this year, I was just expecting a 2nd Upper. Serve me right.

Oh yes, Adrian got a 2nd Upper for this year. I'm glad everything is fine but since this is 2nd year and its counted towards my final degree, here's a sad smiley to accompany the post :'(

Other than that, can't wait to start working. I'm place under YSD :D So time to learn!

Of transitions and flights

2011-06-21T11:49:00.000+08:00

I could say the days after exams were most unproductive.

Wake up
Check Websites
Play Games
Eat
Youtubes
Movies
Sleep
-And sometimes grocery shopping!-

But anyway during my flight and transits today I manage to talk to 3 different people. One british, One Malaysian Indian and One Malaysian Indian.

What they have the same in common? Life experience and advise for my future self.

I find it amusing that all of them agree that the degree paper is just a entry requirement for a job application.
What you need is the skill to communicate efficiently, leadership/follower qualities, the drive to keep learning (and fast), creativity and networking.

It all boils down to these things all in the end.

There's a lot of things that were in those conversations as well, the Malaysian Government, Corruption, 'Favourite selections', Job hopping, and travelling.

It was nice to talk to these people. I gain some new knowledge while reinforcing the old.

The flight from Manchester to Doha was pretty empty. Sat beside an elderly British women who was going to visit her daughter in Bahrain (I think). Didn't have much time to linger around Doha airport as I only had an hour before my next flight. Plus/minus the security and walking time, I only had 10 minutes to rest and stretch and that was at the boarding gate!

Now I'm stuck in KLIA. I don't think I can take the bus as I'm exhausted and tired and I seriously don't want to carry my bags.

=.= bothersome.

Gawd, end it already!

2011-06-08T02:53:00.002+08:00

Feeling extremely lazy now.
Last minute revision <--- I'm getting sooooo good at it :D

Come tomorrow, time to pack, party and worry =/

Gawd, end all these waiting already!

I want my Hokkien Mee, Laksa, midnight cc trips and round the island food hunts.
Not to mention TVs :D Or movies that cost £1.20 :D!!!

Daemons runs

2011-06-04T21:52:00.002+08:00

"Demons run when a good man goes to war

Night will fall and drown the sun,

When a good man goes to war
Friendship dies and true love lies
Night will fall and the dark will rise
When a good man goes to war."

Apparently the pain is still sticking a knife into me, no matter how hard I try to pull myself away.

'Friendship dies and and true love lies.'
River pronounce lies as in 'lay-lie' but I wish she pronounce it as 'lie-lie'.

'Night will fall and the dark will rise'
The dark will rise to be at its height once more. To be in full power before dawn.

'When a good man goes to war'
When a subtle soul goes to war..

Funny how that line came up in line with my subconscious.
A tear drop which is similar to a morning dew, dripping silently when all is asleep.
Stress must be getting the best of me, but I want the afraid stress, not the calm stress.
Where art thou?

Exams

2011-06-03T18:35:00.003+08:00

I wish I'm done with you already. Entering 3rd week soon. Long duration exams causes stress, sleep deprieved and madness >.<

=/ Why can't I finish everything in 1 week or 1 and a half weeks instead of 3 long weeks?

The ideal person

2011-06-03T03:59:00.001+08:00

I want a companion, not a lover.
I want someone with multiple personalities,
That will shine sun rays into my heart,
I want someone to share things with,
Cause being alone is lonely.

I just want a friend, a really close friend.
No tags, no attachment,
Just a Friend who knows me,
Understand me, support me no matter what,
Right or wrong, stand by me.

No tags, just life...

*Funny thoughts, but I guess thats why the Doctor just wants a companion. Nothing more nothing less, someone to share with, someone to smile at.

Video Post : Once in a very long time

2011-06-02T03:02:00.003+08:00

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

I thought I need you.

I used to recall the dreamy days I had.

But I know its all in the past, people changed. I've changed.

You taught me that possessiveness kills,

You taught me that being someone special isn't about the tags you wear,

But more about how you feel about each other,

You taught me that I don't have to tie myself to the responsibilities associated with those tags,

If I do, it will be self damnation sooner or later,

You taught me that I don't need anyone to survive.

I'm all good by myself and this has been the way it is after all those times.

Lady Antebellum - Ready To Love Again

I thought I would never love another,

I told myself you were the last,

I couldn't bear the heartbreak if it ever occurs again,

But what is a relationship?

Do I have to live by human dogma?

And succumb to the rules that governs society?

I say nay!

For I am the captain of my own soul,

I sail my own ship regardless of where the wind blows,

I used to love the Southern Wind, gentle and breezy,

I still do, just less.

Cause I love myself more now,

And because of that, I'm not afraid to fall again.

Cause I don't want to fall for a long time,

I want it to happen when I'm standing tall and proud,

So the feeling won't just last when I'm falling down.

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts

'Who do you think you are,

Going around leaving scars?'

People might say that You were the best for me,

That I am a fool to only discover your worth after you are gone,

But once again I say Nay,

Happy nor sad memories aside,

I've just haven't met Ms. Perfect yet,

And I shall believe on that simple innocent dream,

Growing into my own version of perfection.

I'm dreamy, I'm contend, I'm a planner, I'm random~

I'll contradict myself, I'll be spontaneous, I'll be afraid, I'll be strong~

But what will I be, most importantly,

I'll be myself.

Over and out,

Adrian Koay

10 Days Challenge is over and some things to say

2011-05-22T14:22:00.001+08:00

OK so now it is back to me blogging whenever I want :p So please hear my rants! By the way, I've disable the chat box. Just locking it at the moment and I would probably enable it back in the future.

Gonna bunk in the library. I've been feeling lethargic lately and I don't know why.

=( Figures!

Day Ten: One confession

2011-05-21T02:58:00.001+08:00

Today's Challenge of the day, One Confession. When I think about this, a lot of things came up stirring in my mind. And although briefly, the thoughts of going to a priest and confessing came up. Of course, I always think that if someone want to confess their sins to God, why don't just ask forgiveness from God directly instead of going through the Church?

But setting that aside, one confession. What should it be?

*Deep breath*

-silence-

-still silence-

-yet still silence-

Okay I have no idea.... there's just too many to.... *Oppps* So let us settle it with this, I am gonna count to 3 and whatever is in my mind at the moment, I'll think of something about it.

Ready?

1...

2....

3.....

-LIES-

did a lot of stuffs because of peoples. Mostly because I like them, they are nice to me and I want to get closer to them or because I want to have the similar interest with them so I can talk the things they talk about.

This range from playing instrument, games, watching movies, listening to musics and so on.

To tell you the truth, I played violin because my faci, Chong Li Li (Who I still look up as a role model up till today) played the violin. I audition for violin 1 even though I want violin 3 (cause its so much easier!) because of two individuals. *I think I still remember people being pissed at me cause only Amy and I got accepted into violin 1.

Games, ah Athletes. So nostalgic. I'll skipped that as it had been mention already.

Movies.. You know what. I really really hate Saw. I really really do, I can't stand watching people getting tortured and metals piercing through the flesh. But yet I do, just so that we can have a new conversation topic. And Twilight, Eclipse and New Moon. Don't even get me started on those. I hate that chic flick non-vampire movie. Vampire doesn't shine like diamonds! =/ Gosh, the level I put myself into.

Music... I don't understand why you or (youS, whats the plural if I want to say two you? you you? :p I bet it doesn't exist. Or maybe you you you~) like certain singers but I listen to them anyway. I don't think he's fab or what. But I don't want to be left out not knowing the rhythms and the lyrics. I don't normally follow music, but why the hell did I choose to?

I always tell myself that I'll only change for myself and not for others unless I see fit. Its actually a lie that I keep repeating to comfort myself with. That I'm stronger, I don't do things to please people. But I guess that is just it. I live a lie everyday, though I'm trying my best to turn it into the truth.

Sigh.. I'm a silly old am I not?

Doctor: “Are you there? Can you hear me?… I´m a silly old.”
[The handle of the console moved and the Doctor smiles. She is there, she always going to be there, listening to him]

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now

2011-05-19T13:49:00.000+08:00

Day Eight: Three turn ons

2011-05-18T13:46:00.007+08:00

For today's post, I am going to stick with this definition.

'A person or thing that causes someone to feel excited or sexually aroused'

Well, more on the 'cause someone to feel excited part'

1. Beautiful people: I always believe that black is elegant, and elegant with a dash of personality equates beautiful to me. Yes, beautiful peoples. I feel excited when I see pretty things and I don't say you are beautiful unless I mean it. So wait for me to say it and don't ever ask me why I don't call you beautiful but just pretty or cute. It takes time :)

2. Waiting : Don't we all? Whether it is that particular movie that we have been waiting for so long , your very own birthday party, proms or that one particular graduation ceremony. Or even to ask a question, or to meet someone special. We all get excited as the time draws near. So do I. I get excited just by waiting. Of course, the best part is when it finally comes. Its a sublime sensation, but its the one we remember the most. That one Moment. The one we were waiting for.

3. Innocent : Ever wonder why making snow angels makes kids feel excited? Its that pure innocent feeling within them, and of course the fun in lying down in the snow, flapping out your wings. You could still be innocent after doing a lot of stuffs. Just picture a black canvas and a small white circle in the middle. That particular section of the canvas is still untainted, free from other colours. Innocent, without any tainted thoughts. Being innocent for a moment, turns me on.

Well for those who want to look at this with the extended definition of it, 'or sexually aroused'. Just look at them in a different perspective :) If you wanna know, you have to first take the effort.

No pictures in today's post. Its subtle and its up for imaginations! ^^

Day Seven: Four turn offs

2011-05-17T18:04:00.006+08:00

1. Smokers who blows their puffs at you : Well I don't like to smell nor breath smokes coming out from cigarettes or cigars. Weed smells like when you are burning grass so I'm okay with that since people burn grasses so often not in Malaysia. Don't get me wrong, its best to avoid when people are smoking but I'm fine when they are. Just don't puff it at me and I will be totally cool with you. I used to hate smokers but once you got used to it, its not that bad. (Just have to beware of secondary smoker effect)

2. Over repeated songs : Seriously who doesn't. These are songs which were played continuously on the radio, by your mates and every freaking place you go! Sure it sounds nice at first, maybe a bit catchy as well, but it sure turns you down when you have to listen to it all the time, even when you don't want to.

Yes I mean you! Friday! Thumbs up for Hitler!

3. People who don't use Google : Its not like Google's diabolical scheme is to take over the world (Well it is as a matter of fact!) but people, if you don't know something, google it! (or your prefer search engine). Unless you want someone to explain it to you because you want to understand it deeper, or when you don't have access to the internet, don't ask! Complicated stuffs however, is totally fine. Its much easier to have someone explain it to you than having to read an entire article on it. But try to find it out yourself first. Do some 'homework' and then go ask for explanations if you need them. Else you will never learn.

4. Hypocrites : They are a turn down since high school. Never trust one, never will.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

2011-05-16T12:04:00.000+08:00

Before I start today's post, this is how I'm feeling right now...

When I read this title, my mind went 'Hmmmmm, who?'. Tried as I may, can't really think of much.

1. Dad
2. Mum
3. ???
4. ???
5. ???

Dad and Mum are there for obvious reasons but other than that, I guess people just come and go too fast in my life (with some exceptions of some childhood friends). I am not in that stage where my best friend means everything to me, that I need to know and spend every single moment with them. So no personal here.

so I'm missing three person in my life. In comparison with the 10 people I want to say to, this is so much harder. Who means a lot to me. I really don't have any answers for that, some people are important to me, but not as much as I would define 'a lot'. Cause without them, I still function and behave as myself.

I'm filling the void as it closes by.

But if I could I would actually list this:

3. Universe
4. Time
5. Dreams

The three of you mean a whole bunch to me. Definitely no doubts on that!

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done

2011-05-15T18:08:00.015+08:00

1. I wish I never knew you, to be completely lost and not knowing you. My life would (actually) definitely be different. I wouldn't be where I am today, think how I think, and act how I act today. Heck, I might still be going after my dream of becoming an environmentalist who majors in studies of animals and plants.

My major mistake was deciding to go with you and I ended up walking along this path on my own. I did not have the opportunity to bail out and I am where I am today because of that.

My childhood experience, my part and parcel of growing up, me mingling and mixing with my family members. It was so subtle back then. The four of us, embarking on a new journey together. especially with you. You were my best friend, and we were suppose to be with each other from that time onwards. But you left, and betrayed I was forced to be on this road.

So what I wish deep down inside that I had never greeted that hello, and gotten to know you. After all, you are a complete stranger to me now, so what do I have to lose if I had chosen to ignore you? Alas those actions all those years ago are the actions that made me live my life wondering 'what ifs' everyday.

Okay the first one was kind of personal but as it was the major fork road of my life, I just have to note it down. It lead through with me making mistakes, one after another and meeting people whom I shouldn't meet. We all have regrets, and this was one of my biggest one.

2. Following my mum when she was on a Cendol craze. Now I can't even stand the taste of Cendol!

3. Believing in 'when you('re) save/mature/old enough, you can buy/get it' sayings. Seriously, I think this is just another way of parents saying 'No, you can't have it.' Imagine yourself cutting down on food and trying everything to raise an amount of money and when you finally have it or waited all those years still to be denied over it.

4. Controlling myself when I really should. What the heck? We live only once, so why do I restrain myself and put so many restriction on myself. If I want to do it, I should.

5. Throwing 'Hippo' away. Yes mum, it was out of pure resentment/rebellious attitude towards you that I did that. Naive and stupid of me, why yes. But I still miss that green 'hippo' that I grew up with when I was a child, the one I got from the amusement park. Seriously, things that we work for (or in this case won) tends to have much more sentimental value than those given.

6. The last one, number 6th. What do I wish I have never done? Multiple occasion but saying 'yes' when I was under pressure or when I was being narrowed down to a situation where it is do or die and I don't really know what to do or choose. Seriously, I need time to think. Peer pressure, I blame you!

Not related to this note but it appears that my actions several days ago angered somebody. To I, I seriously couldn't be bothered less of what you think of me. That particular sentence of yours, I had heard it a countless time from you. Make sure you mean it this time and don't let me see that look on your face when you suddenly say 'Hi' again or that sudden appearance of liking my pictures or commenting on my status. I don't need a two faced acquittance.

Just one note to go with this : The past is as important to use as the present or the future. For without it, we could neither grow nor learn from out mistakes. Those who forget their past are condemn to repeat them again. Therefore remembering events that were either happy,sad or angry just serves as a reminder to yourself. We lock ourself from painful memories, cloaking our existence with subtle things. But we never forget the ones we hurt, or being hurt from. It is a part of us and deny as you may, you can't run from it.

I treasure the past. Regret as I may (as with this post), these are what I have done, and I have to live with them no matter what. Whatever happens, I am headstrong with my own beliefs and perception. No one can change that.

I am what my past shapes me to be.
I am what I see myself to be.
I am, who I am.

I don't think I ever meant this post to be like this, ranting about stuffs. Well, I'm sleep deprieved. Sue me.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

2011-05-14T08:28:00.000+08:00

Seven things? I'll try listing them down but.....

1. Exam/Revision - With finals starting next week what do you expect?

2. Food - What to eat/cook. Oh should I eat noodles or rice today?

3. Sleep - I get tired easily and Imma koala!

4. Gaming - I sooo wanna play but then I have to study T_T

5. Day trip - I want exams to be over so I can go somewhere! Day dreams of Milan, Paris and Turkey.

6. My Hair - I know its not well kept and well style, but I care lots about it :p Mirror is my best friend lol. Its hard for me, I want something simple and elegant and yet requires no effort at all. Guess no effort shouldn't be in equation.

7. People - They randomly popped into my mind for some reasons unknown. I miss them, I want to see them, I want to be with them but yet....

Okay that wasn't so hard. Just need to write down my train of thoughts.

Sheldon: Nothing. I've just been thinking about it. Now I'm thinking about fractal equations. Now I'm thinking about the origins of the phrase 'train of thought'. Now I'm thinking about trains.

Sheldon: Now I'm thinking about Jello. . . . Oh! Back to trains. Whoo whooooo!

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

2011-05-14T08:11:00.002+08:00

1. Smile – I love smiles, so smile at me whenever you can. I think its the most beautiful thing of a person's feature.

2. Be headstrong, determined – Do everything in your power to achieve your dreams. Nothing attracts me more than a girl who has defined her life and working her best to achieve her dreams. Looking at people never giving up, makes me fall for them.

3. Have a great personality – What makes my heart falls the most is a person's personality. Cause its the only one unchanged after a long time. Be eccentric and don't mask yourself, that's all I ask for.

4. Sing for me – No matter how bad you sound, we all know that our hearts melts when someone sings a song for us, especially when it is dedicated just for us.

5. Be there for me – I don't want a 24/7 clingy type, just someone available 24/7 on call. This works both ways of course. Be there when I need you, be there when I don't need you, but never be there to annoy me.

6. Be a little childish – Tend to fall for cute stuffs, so being a bit childish might be the key here. Make yourself adorable. Though I can't explain how but simple gestures may seem adorable to me while the most obvious cute stuffs won't. Those are just plain irritating.

7. Surprises - I remember getting excited when I open my locker door in high school and find a note falling down or lying there staring at me. Although I love getting notes or random text messages with 'I miss you' or 'I love you' written on it, just being able to surprise me [out of random] is one way of winning my heart. *Note: Too frequent of 'I miss/love you' might end up feeling like just a routine and there onwards has no special meaning attached to it. So please use it moderately, just at a surprising time!

8. Just be yourself - This is the most important part. Just be yourself. If you are destined to win my heart, you will. Don't pretend to be someone your not, it will be revealed sooner or later and we don't want to get there. If I don't like you for who you are right now, there's no point putting on a mask. Likewise, I expect the same of you, adore me for what I am. Don't expect me to change unless I want
it myself. A lifetime of habits can't be changed overnight.

Day 1 : Ten things you want to say to ten different person right now

2011-05-10T12:11:00.003+08:00

I'll shall write it to whoever pops up in my mind right now. It is in chronological order

1. Chu Mei - You were my childhood friend, someone I shared everything with. Its funny how we lost contact and I don't thing we'll ever meet up again unless our fates are entwine somehow. Thank you for an amazing childhood memories.

2. Rosetta - I don't think you remembered me but I still remember the day, when you gave me flowers and say I love you and I want to marry you when I grow up. Being little, I didn't understand those words but it gave me a shock. Sorry to have just ran off just like that. I guess being Asian makes me unable to understand romance from a French Girl. However this fond memory makes me chuckle every time I think of it. For that I thank you.

3. Leon - You and I were besties when we were in primary school. We lost contact when you changed school and even when we met up later on, the bond just isn't there any more. This taught me that distance makes you forgets. Thank you for that lesson.

4. Chee Kit - You were my longest childhood friend. I seriously don't remember how we met and why we became friends. But you taught me a lot of stuffs. From being nice to being naughty, things I wouldn't thought of otherwise. I don't understand some choices you made, but I couldn't understand myself, so why would I understand you? Thanks for being there as well as being my friend.

5. Meor - I know you have another life now, but back then thanks for helping me move around in KYS because of my accident. You were patient and nice. Sorry for the trouble over that Pokemon card incident. Memories of how it became big now are so blurry but I just get laughter over how childish we are now. You are someone with Hyper Ventilation and I, myself with Hyper Tension. The two hyper, the two duos. I wish you well.

6. Melissa - You were always my role model when I was growing up. A CC, an athlete, smart in your studies, Violin 1 in the college orchestra and with a superb personality. I think I've never told you but the real reason I wanted to be in violin 1 was not because it is violin one, the top 'rank' and people there are considered the best. But just because it lets me hang out with you and Chong Li Li more often during practise. More or less I join the athlete team because of you, I want to be more like you. Though CC was never my cup of tea, I tried to follow in your foot steps by being a Librarian and ultimately being a Head Librarian. Choosing Sime Darby was also because of your choice, you told me that Sime has more opportunities than Bank and I went with that. Thank you for being my role model, and thank you for being my Pet Sis albeit a while as you told me that we are adults now and 'pet sis' was something childish in high school. I'll forever look at you as a sister to me. :) To me, you are forever my Kak Mel.

7. Ika - Your headstrong, stubborn and rebellious. Keep it up. Life would be boring otherwise. Don't you reckon so. You looked innocent back then with big puppy dog eyes (yeah your contact make your sepet eyes looks slightly bigger). Thanks for being there for me and sorry I hurt you. Was immature back then so what can you expect? Nothing I could say but to apologies and no matter how many times I've said it. I just can't seem to say I'm sorry enough. It seems that it is just something that I couldn't forgive myself with. But I'm glad you are happy with your life now. All those memories we had, I'll keep it in a little corner of my mind. You are someone that doesn't give up, I know that. And I know you'll do well in the future.

8. Mrs. Beadsworth - You made my stay in KYUEM a wonderful one. Seeing you 4 times a day never seems to bore me. From computing lessons, psychology lessons, tutorial sessions as well as life saving practise, you taught me everything I needed to know. You gave me guidance whilst I was in KYUEM and I couldn't thank you enough. For you, made the stay in the jungle an interesting stay and not a boring one.

9. Tian Feng - I don't really know what to say to you right now. Perhaps I am still angry, perhaps I am just speechless. But from strangers to friend to close friend and finally a couple. I learn a lot from you. Perhaps the time spend together was just a transition time, a time of learning and perhaps karma payback. You made me who I am today, someone who thinks freely but however afraid to love. Perhaps its better this way as I am always unstable whilst I am in a relationship. Sometimes I tend to work harder because I am afraid that I would be called a useless boyfriend that couldn't match up or live up to expectations. I studied harder, learnt more because of you. You were my drive to excel till I become the top of my class for the year. I wanted an achievement you could be proud off. But that aside, that time we spent together, instead of a lover, I most often see you more as a very close friend. Someone to support and share tears and laughter together, without much commitments. I've realised that quality time is better than quantity (Isn't it always?), but as youngsters we tend to want quality and quantity as well. For now, I just want a friend and no lover. Thanks for that.

10. Myself - Dear Adrian, from a young kid to now. I've seen through your achievement and scars. The mask and lies you put on, you should really unshackle yourself from it. We only live once, so go and do everything that you want to. Don't be over committed to things, don't worry to much and go and enjoy. You have lived a life full of expectations and demands, you have warred with yourself and its time you won. So a note to you, be cool and be the person you have always want to be. Unmasked.

Seems to be like a recall of memories and thank you notes instead. Note that my parents are excluded from this because of I want to say something to them, I would have called them instead of writing it here in my blog. As for memories aside, its way too much to be written down.

Till tomorrow, adios.

10 Days challenge

2011-05-10T12:08:00.000+08:00

10 days till the start of my 2nd year final exams. And I happen to stumble on this 10 Days Challenge at Tumbler.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession

So here goes nothing :). Lifeless much

Procrastination and thoughts

2011-05-09T15:49:00.004+08:00

So my room is now clean and I've made a timetable for myself. (well sorta guideline).

Went to McDonalds for breakfast cause there wasn't any milk in the fridge. Was just the usual, double sausage McMuffin, double Hashbrowns with hot chocolate. While I was eating my breakfast I saw a chinese girl walk by across the street and she was eating an ice-cream. Wait, what. Ice-cream in the morning?

Ice-cream in the morning, really?

Somehow seeing her reminded me of Mel, of one time on our way back for Chinese New Year in 2005. I remember the date cause I was the year I first joined the athletes squad in KYS. When the 'driver' was driving us to the Malacca Central and had to stop by at a petrol station to refill the tank first, she asked if she could go out to the shop and get ice-cream. Funny scene really as the driver looked at her and said 'Kau nak makan ice-cream pagi-pagi ni. Tak takut sakit ker?'.

I still remember the giggle she had and I, myself still being a child, giggled as well as I wanted an ice-cream as well. Who said ice-cream can't be eaten in the morning? It is just somehow unusual for people to eat ice-cream in the morning. :)

That aside, I saw two elderly couple walking side by side, holding each others hand. Sweet isn't it. I then thought of the time when someone said, 'I want someone that I can be with, someone that will how my hand till the end or 永远一起手牵手. It made me smile slightly looking at them, so happy even when they are old.

However looking and holding my necklace that I found when cleaning my room earlier this morning, reminds me that I don't have that chance any more. I somehow made an oath to myself and I want to keep it for as long as my heart is scarred.

For you once know me, I thank you for nothing.

You're just another relic from the past, I wonder whether the other half is still in existence.

Anyway here is the song 'Thank you for nothing'.

I was listening to it when I was looking at my partially completed scrap book. Initially I wanted to complete it last summer but there wasn't any reason to complete it after I came back from Bangkok. Simply, because there was no one to give it to.

But for now, I need to study! >_<;

Nostalgic time , fun time over, onwards to full throttle!

2011-05-09T11:19:00.000+08:00

Okay, time to remove all the games from my computer and change to full throttle for studying. Exams is freaking next week :'(.

At least its well spread out.

So guys, see you later. Will be updating from time to time

I'm sure we can fly, on my love

2011-05-06T11:25:00.000+08:00


'After an endless dream, in this miserable world 
That's right, maybe not using common sense isn't so bad after all 
Even with these awkward wings, dyed with images that seem to stay 
I'm sure we can fly, on my love'

-Butterfly-

Remembering childhood times is sure fun, now I understand why an adult likes to sit there and recall his past.

Strangers again

2011-04-27T07:54:00.000+08:00

We walk down together on this path,

We shared our happiness, adrenaline, drama, moments, smiles and laughter.

Then comes separation, anger, jealousy, stalking and regrets.

We try to hold on, but the feeling just became awkward.

Soon we lose contact, and you are just another one of my memories.

I kept the belongings that escape the fire, that was kept elsewhere.

The notes from chocolates dedications, flowers dedications, printed photos, posters, jacket and perfumes.

And even a book, a blue log book and a black album in making that was never complete.

In those remnants our memories are held,

A person I once knew,

Alas, a stranger now.

Just for me

2011-04-16T05:17:00.001+08:00

I wrote this song, its not too long,
cause I've been thinking 'bout you,
I wrote this song, maybe I'm wrong,
To be caught up about you.

Khalil Fong

I am not someone who sings well. As a matter of fact I came to believe that I am tone deaf (In singing at least since I often sing mono tone).

I believe singing songs is a rite of life, something we do to harmonize ourselves with the events that passes us each and every day. The tears and joys of past and future, that we hope to one day experience, remember or forget.

I still remember back in the good old days, I was a member of the choir. Mrs. Koay (Ironically she is not related to me despite having the same surname) recruited all three of us into the school choir group. Back then I had practise, and I sung.

High school? Not even one bit. I think it was after a talent time audition that Ms. Judy told me that I need to practise more as my singing had no variations in them. I was just on the same tone most of the song. I stopped singing then, gradually in public and then lately stop when I was showering as well. I just hum most of the time.

Though singing is part of life, and I start singing back, a least in secret. My friends knew I was singing to myself, but they will never hear it. I'm too timid to let them hear it all out.

This past events, this turmoil has led me to write a song. Its not such a long song and when I sang it, it was around 3 minutes long. I'm actually surprise how well it went. :)

So whenever I feel lonely, sad or happy I'll listen to my own recording of this song. Its a song written and sung by me, just for me.

Isn't that nice?

Miles after miles,

I’ll run to the sun,

If I could chase,

A million stars I would,

Looking back and wondering..

2011-04-14T18:02:00.004+08:00

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

There were times that we face this kind of decisions, in the past or in the present. Years later whenever I looked back I always wonder, would it have been different? How would this affect the people around me, the people I have met or the place I am at right now?

Have I not trode on that path, would I be a different person today. And how would I be now? With a different personality, a different ambition, a different dream, a different perspective? What would be of me?

I finally understood what the sentence 'I shall be telling this with a sigh'. In the past, I was told that it was the author regret's that he could not travel both road (or to pick both his options). For me, it is a sigh of wondering what could have been, or would have.

Yellow leaves and maple leaves, I bid adieu to thee,

For once there were remembrance, For now no longer fresh,

One part longing, one part disagreeing, I see the past before me,
Walking calmly, gently and slowly, towards the future I seek.

Digimon Battle?

2011-04-09T12:43:00.001+08:00

Holidays are here! Weee~

Can't remember how I stumble on this MMORPG. Was looking to download Megaman X6 (which ended horribly as there is only a Korean version and the keys can't be adjusted. Seriously? Joystick keys from Z~B?)

Anyway started playing on Monday and manage to get 3 Mega Digimon now. Its starts to feel like horrible grinding now. Some items are so hard to make that I spend two whole days to make a set of 3.

Gameplay is by taking turns, so it kinda resembles the Playstation Digimon World game series. The only thing I don't like is that I have to evolve my digimon every single time (though this can be solved by buying a cash item call Deva aura) and I have to summon my 2 other digimon as well. =/

Manage to meet some Malaysians playing this game and joined a guild which is just for Malaysians :P

Anyway, My digimon is a WarGreymon and guess who's I'm fighting? A BlackWarGreymon!

Take that Terra Force :D

Oh and notice my IGN is SawamuraSeiji? :) Tribute to Midori No Hibi. Now I just need to find a Digimon that is suitable to take that title.

Grrrrrr....!

2011-04-07T21:03:00.003+08:00

I want my cookie back! Grrrr!

I dislike 'beggars' who only comes at a specific time, targets specific people and dress better than I do!

Was eating subway and this lady came in with her baby (She normally lingers around Lidl from 6pm-7.30pm, you wouldn't find her anytime elsewhere.)

Well she came in, walk straight to my table and extended her hand. Knowing her I said no but she shrugs while holding her her baby and say but you have a footlong sandwich. For that instant I though, I'm hungry, I'm a student, I lived on £10 a week (Including telephone bills!), I still manage. Real beggars are actually very easy to identify. They don't walk around poaching people like tigers, are fine even if you just walk by, dress normally (not extremely shruggy,shabby and are definitely not well dress!). But as she kept on pestering me, I said here's a cookie. (Which lead me to buying 3 extra cookies later on, cause I WANT my Macadamia Nut Cookie). She took it, gave me a shrug and left the shop, without saying Thank You!

I bet that was for me giving her a cookie instead of some money. =/

I then proceed to do and extremely stupid thing which goes like this.

She left. I looked around and then thought, 'Damn, I'm the only Asian here. No wonder!'. Then a second thought came into my mind, 'Why the hell did I just thought of that?'

Typical stereotype.

Ah she's Pakistani-ish. That explains the Asian thought.

Forget about that, enough ranting. Honestly, I do give to beggars. Every 10th that asked me to be honest Yes, even when its the one next to the ATM if its the 10th.That was my principal since my first year here.) or whenever I think they really need it, though its normally involves either a small amount of money or me going to the nearest food shop and buying them a meal.

I feel its better giving them what they need that giving them food. Asking them what they will do with the money, specifically and then buying the actual thing is actually better.

Beggars can't be choosers, right?

Course video for the Manchester Business School

2011-04-04T09:54:00.003+08:00

BSc Accounting, Management and Information Systems at Manchester Business School

Video Description : Students share their experiences of studying a BSc (Hons) Accounting, Management, and Information Systems at Manchester Business School.

So after doing the student profile which turns out to be just a quote (which could be found here), MBS emailed me to ask if I could help them record a video for my course (for the new MBS website). They gave me 3 questions (Final year gets a 4th question asking what's the most interesting course/module for you). So glad they used all my answers. Now I'm just waiting for that intro video for the virtual open day. I know I know, its just me walking aimlessly as well as walking out from the school but I just wanna see MYSELF!

Oh and did anyone notice its a Bsc now? The proposal that Osaki and I submitted last year when we were student reps got through and now we are going to graduate with a Bsc :P. That should be appropriate since most courses in the MBS are BSc and we don't get much module options anyway and of course ITS IS!

I feel my hair is a bit messy. Should I cut it short? *contemplates* Its gonna be short when I start working anyway but.....

Someone smack me and tell me what to do!

请你。

2011-04-03T06:20:00.000+08:00

我不知道，
为什么我还是一样的。
每天起床，还是一样的。
第一的思想，
是想你，
没错，就是你。
我的公主。

在一起的时间，
你我身边的时候，
远远离开的时候，
你是很远，
但是，你仍然靠近我的心和头脑，
谢谢你。

现在，
你靠近，但很远，
我看不到你的笑容，
但我只能看到我的眼泪。

不要怕，
我告诉自己，
是时候放手，
她的笑容属于别人，
不是你，
所以我告诉自己，
请放手，
有不同的笑容在等着你，
你会发现它，我保证。

有一个地方，有一个地方，
那会带给你幸福，
给你微笑，
给你幸福，
给你的一切，

所以，请你放手，
不要哭了，
我求求你，
请说再见，
盼着未来，
放开过去。

请。

The few that survived.... A story of White Sugar Cake/Steam Rice Cake

2011-04-03T03:23:00.004+08:00

Thursday night, early Friday morning and I can't remember what provoked me, but I ended up looking for Pak Thong Koh recipes online and went and buy the ingredients the next morning at 7am.

It's pretty weird for me to have such sudden cravings and being in the UK, if you crave for it, you have to make it yourself.

First attempt was a total failure as apparently the yeast wasn't fermented well yet. (Looks at the recipe that says leave it for 2-3 hours.) So my 2nd attempt I left it overnight and for that night, I ate Nando's Extra Hot Peri Peri Chicken instead (marinade myself) together with Extra Extra Hot Sauce ^^.

So when I finally wake up on Saturday, its time to make it again.

Partial success with half of it looking good while the other half looks soggy. Lesson learnt, leave it to ferment overnight and I have to steam it for quite a long time.

Here's a picture of those that actually look okay, I will make a third attempt tomorrow and see how it goes :)

Time after time...

2011-04-01T10:17:00.001+08:00

I'm still here and I'm still waiting, you know what this means. ;)

Supposingly (Or the correct term supposedly) ...

2011-03-31T14:24:00.003+08:00

Sad news, the word supposingly does not exist. When I was writing the blog title, those annoying red lines turned up, which lead me to do a google search and stumble on this painful truth. I've been using a word that does not exist for the past 21 years? Amazing! But apparently you can get away with it in the US.

Oh bother, I'm in the UK anyway. =/

Back to the blog post.

I was doing some research on CAPM (Capital Asset Pricing Model) and Fama-French model when I got bored and Facebook-ed. (Yes, in the middle of the night. Who doesn't anyway?). So was reading the update when I notice Zhen Xiang checked in at Simon's House Party. O_O Simon was organising a house party? So I went to Simon's profile (did a bit of stalking here) and end up watching a video which I commented with the word 'English'!

You can view the video here from Facebook. So one thing leads to another so I ended up watching 精装追女子 (Cheng Chung Chui Lui Chai) or the English title, Love Is A Many Stupid Thing which is a parody of Infernal Affairs.

Here's a trailer of it, I find it very funny!

I recommend watching it :) Something to cheer you up when you are feeling down.

*Note: As with all dumb parody comedy, there is a tendency to have your IQ being lowered after watching it.

Which leads to me saying this: Sigh, I can't write my essay now! I can't understand this!

Off to bed! Toodles!

Of Grand Prix London Trials and Coffee!

2011-03-29T05:12:00.000+08:00

National Qualifiers was on Saturday and Grand Prix London Trials was on Sunday. What a weekend! Didn't went for NQ since I got a group meeting on that day but I went for GPT the next day. Bad idea though as I couldn't sleep the entire night on Saturday and could felt sleepy at 8am >.<, there's no way I'm going to wake up in time.

Did better than I expected though, managed to top 8 and qualify for a booster draft with my R/G Dinosaur Burn. Got the typical Dinosaurs and one of each burn in SOM and MBS, cool isn't it? Drafted a horrible G/B deck in the quarter finals. I thought Blue was open but seem liked everyone thought that as well so ended up with a subpar blue half of the deck.

It was just 7 hours of non stop playing but Grand Prix London will be 10-11 hours? I wonder do I have the stamina for that, not to exclude the fact that it is the weekend of the Royal Wedding making the underground tube and London a busy place!

Anyway, found a song during my insomnia night called 'Coffee' sang by Atsumi Saori, the same singer who sang Mousukoshi Mousukoshi :). Its a very adorable an lively song but I couldn't find the lyric for it. Here is the song. Enjoy!

A walk around Manchester, down town.

2011-03-24T11:14:00.001+08:00

It was a sunny Tuesday afternoon and I felt bored. So after sleeving up my deck at Fanboy3 (bought new sleeves!), I went for a quick detour and walk around Manchester trying to find spots I would rarely walk on.

Of course I started at Piccadilly Gardens ;P, where else would it be? The Fountains were on and we had little kids running in it. Trying to make it through dry but I bet they love getting wet. Who doesn't?

This was a picture around Piccadilly Gardens. As you can see the sun is setting down. It was around 5-ish, so I don't really have much time. I find the blue evening sky (Wish it was scarlet!) very soothing.

Down to Market Street. On a weekend or in the afternoon, this place would normally be buzzing with people. with street performers at the side and shop lots right and left of this street, it is indeed a market street!

Here is Cross Street, near Corporation Street or the Exchange Square, not a place I would normally venture to as I normally turn right towards Printworks or Victoria Station. But lets try turning left instead today!

Yes! Blame me! 2 years staying in Manchester and I didn't knew there was a theatre here. I only knew the one along Oxford Road and the one in Spinningfields. But never the Exchange Theatre. Should go inside for a show someday.

Oh yes! Pokemons are everywhere! They are invading UK as we speak! I thought of taking this pictures on my way (Since I have nothing to do). I played Pokemon a long long time ago (it was just 11 years ago, so I still think its long! Its been half my lifetime so far). Gave up on the cards when Nintendo took over. But its cute and interesting to see these adverts all over the place.

I always wonder about these bollards. Sometimes they are raised, sometimes they are lowered. Would really like to see them in the process of being raised/lowered.

Outdoor pub. Seems interesting though definitely not a place for a cup of tea. Need to go Teacup or Nexus for that. But on a cloudy day, having lunch here outdoor would be fine I suppose.

Talk about finding tombs in the middle of the city! Seriously? This was at St. Ann's square, a place I knew to be home to fashion designs, art and cafes. This gave me an eerie feeling (even when it was in broad daylight!). The tombs are there and warnings are written so people don't trample over the dead. *shudders* I wonder who would.

Moving on I found this parth way on the corner lot. Its actually a pathway through the buildings and was pretty dark when I walk past through it. Though there was a scent of pee in there. I guess some drunkards must have eased themselves there at night.

Further down the road, I only came here when it was night time in December due to the fact that this was a walkway for the Christmas Market. So I was less observant to what lies on the road. Seems like a fair place, more office and similar to those in the Deansgate area.

Yeah, I decided to be a bit vain after a while. See the blue sky behind me ;)

Then I ended up at our City Council. I really do love this building. I feel England-ish whenever I'm near these kind of buildings. St Peter's Square was behind this and Chinatown was nearby, so after admiring the City Council building for a while, I went to Wong Wong's Bakery on Princess Street for my Lou Po Peng (Literally Wife's Cake or Sweetheart Cake) which I adore! I just can't describe the taste though I think the ones we have back in Malaysia taste better. But beggars can't be choosers. I also bought Yau Cha Kwai as its another snack I like. However I ended up using it for Bak Kut Teh instead since I felt that it was a waste to eat it just like that :). Impromptu dinner instead of my usual soup noodles or fried rice!

Yum Yum! I still got 2 packets of Bak Kut Teh herbs so if anyone wants I can cook for them :p

And I shall let my emotions run wild

2011-03-24T08:27:00.003+08:00

When its spring, you feel the gentle breeze brushing through you. You feel the warm heartfelt rays of the sun, shining upon you. You see dandelions growing here and there. Its a colourful season, and it should be filled with joy!

Or should it?

I don't know what is wrong with me, but I just could not be happy about it. I tried wandering the outskirts of the city, exploring new sights, looking at fresh blossoms and the occasional Pokemon poking out at some of the corner (Part of the Black & White advertisement), I've tried to be excited about Magic : The Gathering, about National Qualifiers, Elder Dragon Highlander, Friday Night Magic, happy that I can now converse better than before in Mandarin, that I know quite a lot of people around and I'm just not sticking to that just few friends, that my schedule is light even when it is heavy at the first glance, but I am not just quite.

Something is missing, somehow.

Yesterday, after a long time not dreaming, I dreamt. Not of love or romance, or mystifying mythics, but of...

Nothing, I can't remember my dreams any more. I've lost the concentration I've once trained to get it.

All I could remember that I was running. I'm not so sure if I was running towards something, or away from something, but I was running. Running, taking each step carefully, trying my best not to trip over.

'Maybe I'm sick of falling down?' I asked myself. Maybe, just maybe.

Spring normally heralds a lot of interesting events to me, but memories of what that used to be, and was, slightly haunts me from a new beginning. Try as I may, I'm trapped behind the chains of my own confinement. I try to try new things, to explore into the wonders, to gaze upon the beauty around us, the supernatural phenomena and the events that occur around us. Everything is taking a swirl, blend in complexity but I can see it all, see past all the veils of complexity, the thing its hiding.

Hiding deep inside.....

Do I? Or is that what I deem that I can see, a figment of my imagination? As we tend to believe what our minds want, we see what we want, we create images of what we want and ultimately it becomes out ultimate reality. I choose not to believe, and I ignore its rules and ordinances.

Did my life changed?

No it did not...

Shall I proclaim it to the world?

Maybe, but perhaps it is not time.

I need more time and I need more proof, this lifeless soul of mine shall reach out to the sky, try to grab it and who know what will happens next?

Who knows, what will happen?

When my emotions runs wild.

Mission accomplish!

2011-03-17T10:44:00.002+08:00

Yay! After 5 months I have finally reached my target of 1700+ for my total ratings :) Next target should be Constructed to be 1700+ and it seems that I am 9 points away from it. I really want to achieve this target now .

However I felt like I want to play Pyromancer Ascension Deck =(. What should I do? Stick with Kuldotha Red or play Pyromancer Ascension?

There's twice that many stars

2011-03-17T01:49:00.000+08:00

Tonight there's twice that many stars in the skies.

Spring has come but winter is very reluctant to go.

I can see daffodils blooming in the park, but the cold air is still rustling through the city on Manchester.

Sometimes it feels hot in the afternoon, and very cold at night.

But spring is here and that's final. And the mysterious love chemistry is blooming once again around me.

And perhaps that's the reason why for the appearance of the stars in the sky?

Riding Kuldotha Red High and Low

2011-03-07T11:58:00.005+08:00

Found this Picture on the MTG website, isn't it cute?

This week was back to back Magic (Again!) FNM on Friday, MBS Gameday 1 on Saturday and MBS Gameday 2 on Sunday.

FNM I went 3-1 finishing 6th out of 23
Gameday 1 I went 2-3 and place 16th out of 25
Gameday 2 I went 4-0-1 and placed 2nd after I dropped out in the finals and let David Baldowski take first place. 2nd out of 14

Gameday 1 didn't really went so well as I made so many mistakes on deciding the right call for my turn. So I went back and tweak the deck, change it into the all in build and totally Mirran deck and forgo playing Boros on Sunday. (And this was my only chance of playing it before I return those Stoneforge Mystic to Jem!)

Gameday two I went 2-0 for my first two game against Henry Kay's Knight deck and Jack Rowley's CawBlade with a splash of Red (Gerry Thompson's build). Henry couldn't find his sideboard so I lent him 3 Kor firewalkers, 1 Divine offering, 1 Revoke Existence and 4 Journey to nowhere to be his sideboard for the day, which I later learn to 'almost' regret. More on this later.

Jack was playing a control deck so round one was an easy game for me since I WON the die roll (Loss every single one yesterday). Game two he was on 8 when he slagstorm me clearing my board. I dropped a signal pest and kicked it with bushwhacker bringing down to 4. (At this point someone sitting next to me joked, you thought the assault was over once you cleared the board didn't you Jack?) He then played Stoneforge Mystic to fetch Sword of Feast and Famine. I attacked for 2 (Bushwhacker with battlecry) and he took it, and then played a rebirth my signal pest. I had Contested Warzone in play. He drew for the turn, the concede as he had no outs to it.

3rd game was against Kieran (Valakut, yay for him beating Mark Riley in the mirror!). We ID (since we only need to have two wins and a draw to guarantee ourself for a top 8 spot.) Might as well guarantee to get a Full Art Black Sun Zenith. I explained to it that we will definitely be in the top 8 and will be paired down since we are only on 7 points. He nodded to my reasoning and we just ID (Intentional Draw). We played two games though with him winning game 1 due to a slightly less aggresive hand by me and I won game 2 despite getting slagstorm. We decided not to play round 3 and leave it as it is otherwise one of us would be regretting that we had ID.

Game 4 was against a mirror match, David Baldowski. He was on 3 win and in order to get to top 4, I needed to win this match. (Its just to get some extra booster). He won first match due to a more explosive hand and him starting first. I had exactly the same hand except he went first and I was swarmed by Goblins. Game two I had him on 2 life and me on 14. He tried alpha strike me for lethal by casting a Hero of Oxid Ridge with Goblin Chieftain, Goblin Bushwhacker and Memnite in play. He casted it , tapped and say deal 14 damage to you. I calculated the damage and pointed out it was 12 damage and I survive and asked can we go to the third game then? Since I will be swinging for lethal the next turn. He look, untapped his lands and return the Hero to Oxid Ridge and said, okay I decide I don't wanna attack after all. Of course I wasn't letting him win since this would mean he would have won 2-0. So I called for the judge and say he attacked, it wasn't lethal and I pointed out to him and now he wants to retract it. Judge rulled that once we enter and declare combat, we can't reverse anymore.

I felt like a prick for doing this but well, I just don't want to lose. I promised Kat that I won't lose to anyone today.

So we went to top 4. David, Kieran and I secure our spot but guess who was in as well? HENRY! The Knight Deck I fought in my first round. I was paired up against him and so this was his opportunity for revenge and this is also a point where I kinda regret lending him a sideboard that works so well against my deck :p.

He lost the die roll so game one went to me, game two was tricky as he resolve a hero of bladehold and I still had to bring him down from 8. I managed to cast my Masticore but couldn't survive the onslaught and needed one extra turn.

Game three was tricky with him having 3 5/5 indestructible knights and me having mere 1/1s and 0/1s. He was on 2 so I just need to top deck a burn spell. I manage to get 2 Hero of Oxid Ridge instead so they gave my 0/1 Signal pest +2/+0 due to battle cry and since he doesn't have any flying creatures. I was in for the win!

David Baldowski won his match up against Kieran , an easy match up for us since it was Valakut so we were paired for Finals. Still feeling guilty for enforcing the rule on him I conceded and game him the win :). At least that made up for my guilty conscience.

*And only later in the night I realised he actually had 1740+ points so it wasn't really worth it. I could really knocked some points out of him to get my 1700+ ratings goal. But mirror match is really like a coin toss and I did feel guilty...

So my deck behaved for the day :) I'm loving it when it does!

Now its 4am, and I'm gonna do my Foundation of Finance coursework and CSCW Blog essay coursework. Payoff of playing during the week.

From studies to food~

2011-02-25T08:29:00.003+08:00

Ever had that moment where its time to freak out and you are busy crossing every single thing crossable in your body?

Today was that day.

First semester results are coming out somewhere at the end of this week or early next week and its terrifying. Mean score of 42 and the range was 4-78? Very very scary. Median was 42.5 ish so I guess quite a lot of people pass? No idea

Anyway as it gets closer, I recall some memories. Doesn't affect me that much any more since its been 8 months (Weee, out of my mourning period!) but ever since PMR, I always had someone special (apart from my parents) to tell my results to. PMR, SPM, A levels and first year at uni. 'She's' always there somehow. The 'she' of course right now is null but after thinking of it a while, is it really that important?

Someone to pour your soul into, to listen to your grumbles and ranting (vice versa), know that you can count on them no matter what... what is this dependent feeling that I am feeling?

Anyway, this picture was taken back in summer 2009. Guess where it was?

No it wasn't Penang, but it was Malacca. It was some hotel we rented (I think it was Equatorial Hotel). I remember having my first Jonker Walk visit there that night. (Shame isn't it that I was studying in Malacca for 5 years but never went there until I graduated from college.)

Which reminds me, some people still 'owes' me a treat to Malacca Rojak and Cendol. (Not a fan of Cendol but I'm cool with the Rojak :p)

Fion uploaded a picture of Muar Chee so I requested for the recipe. Gonna try make them tonight so lets see how they go :)

Signing off now.

Yours truly,
Adrian

Silent Doubt

2011-02-21T02:55:00.001+08:00

Sit there silently,
Dare not speak,
Dare not move,
Observing carelessly.

Lying there gently,
Beneath the old oak tree,
Caressing wind,gentle rays,
Silently he fell asleep,

Eyes twitched, glimmer slightly,
Poked by bristle-tipped leaves,
Awaken by the sudden zephyr,
He shed tears, unwillingly.

Fallout

2011-02-21T02:52:00.002+08:00

Went 1-3 and 2-2 the last FNM. Ratings dropping. My merfolk deck still lacks 20 cards to be completed, and thats £250 worth of cards. =(

Current DCI Ratings

2011-02-09T22:24:00.000+08:00

Was planning to get my ratings to 1700+ this year. Seems like its closer than I imagine (Total of course!) I wish I can have my constructed rating to be 1700... that seems far away but its can be in reach!

February post so far...

2011-02-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

Okay, lets start of with Magic.

Pre-release day I - 23rd out of 113
Pre-release day II - 4th out of 48
Booster draft (Release Date) - 2nd of out 8
2 Headed Giant Release Event- 5th out of 9 Teams

No FNMs so far as it was draft FNM as it cost £12.50 T_T

First two weeks of February is really tiring. With back-to-back Magic Tournament from Friday to Sunday, I really feel that my brain needs some rest. The good part is, with all those thinking involve (strategy, probabilities, analysing and so on). I'm grasping my lecture a little more quicker than I used to.

Got some parts for my Legacy deck now. =) 1/3 through! Now comes the expensive bits of the deck T_T.

Celebrate CNY at Cheng's house with steamboat as the main event. The girls did the shopping while the guys were just 'trolleys' carrying the goods that they bought. can't complain much about carrying food, can I?

Aaron has gotten into an accident and he's still in the Hospital. Bone fracture but now after the operation he has metals to connect his bones. Some pus appearing stopped him from going back earlier so he's still in the hospital now, maybe for another week or two. It happen last month during my exam period so my mum didn't really tell me till it was over. Get well soon bro!

I finally manage to reset my sleeping patterns. I now sleep from 10ish to 1am and wake up around 7-8am. Can't sleep more even if I want to. But I guess its going to be a healthy start now.

First and Last of January

2011-01-29T11:52:00.001+08:00

FNM Promo Card for January

Manage to get this beauty during the first week of January during FNM when I didn't manage to win it but manage to get it via Lucky Draw. During the second week when I faced Eric for the finals, I was 'offered' (not exactly offered, I keep pestering him about the match to give me the Chalice, so it was due to my persuasion that Eric actually offered that :p) if I would give up the boosters for winning the FNM for it, as he didn't care about winning, just the extra boosters. I decline as I somehow feel bad if I was declared 'winner' just by that. Lost 1-2 though, so eventually not getting it.

Levi had one but traded it with me since he needed an Inquisition of Kozilek and he hates foils. I eventually traded one Inquisition of Kozilek and my only Textless Mana Leak (Which I love so much! This was my first MPR card that I received from WoTC). In the end after a sad parting, I got the chalice but it is going to Tzong Tay. Why you may ask? First, it was his Birthday and 2nd, I wanted to keep a Wild Nacatl FNM Promo for memory of my first FNM victory (Since I traded mine away as an add on for a trade which includes a Textless Damnation.)

Wasn't looking forward to tonight. Tried boarding in Perilous Myr but decided they really should be just in the sideboard. Went 2-0 or 3-0 depending on how you look at it. First Match was against David Newton but he was missing so it was basically a bye. Second Match was against Kat Donohue, one of the very few female Magic Players that we have in Manchester (A very good one as well!). Game one sees me blowing off with guides and chimeric mass as she couldn't 'bounce' my creature (all has haste and Chimeric Mass is not a creature until I animate it). Second game I manage to bring her down to 5, but she locked me out of red mana source with Spreading Seas. If I had red mana she would have loss as I got 3 burn spells and 2 Goblin Guides with me. She ended it with Genesis Wave into Titans, Lands, Lotus cobra etc :p. Third game was a little better for me as 2 Guides and 3 Bushwhacker came down earlier.

Third match is where i like it the most, very intense albeit how short it was. For the 3 rounds we played (Went 3-0, third round for casual), he was always one turn before dealing me with lethal damage (28 via valakut) before he dies and game 2 and 3 was via Mark of Mutiny! Game 2 interesting thing that after having 6 3/4s plant tokens with Avenger of Zendikar, he swing me for an almost lethal forcing me to block my 3 1/1 goblins otherwise i would be dead. I had Jinxed Idol in play one me as well and that left me with 4 life. He had a bolt in his hand but I got a Galvanic Blast (For 2) and Mark of Mutiny (Stealing the Avenger and hitting for 6), just nice as his life total was 8. Had he lay back a blocker, he would have won the game.

Stopped at 3 round as it was getting late but if pairings were gonna go on. I would face Alex (Running Boros Landfall). In my mind its the most top tier aggro deck in standard at the moment, with consistent damage and card advantage as compared to Kuldotha Red. Took game one easily but loss game 2 and 3 as he got more burn spells and recover via card advantage from Squadron Hawks. I foresee this coming and as this was for casual so I was very happy despite my loss here.

Thats all for my report on this week's match up. The interesting thing to report is that my cards actually went missing. When I was playing against Alex, David came with my Textless Zendikar Mountain. The sleeve was obviously mine and game me a shock. Was i playing with 59 cards in my deck? (I would have gotten a gameloss for not playing a full 60 deck if this was discovered earlier.) I chcked my land count, it was 19 so this was an extra mountain, probably the one I lost earlier this week (I had discovered that I was only playing 18 lands when i was tweaking it yesterday.)

Matters aside, I continue with the game but when Dave came and ask who's Spikeshot Elder is this? I gasp! The card sleeve was mine, I checked my deck in which I normally run two Spikeshot Elder. I was clearly missing one.

Boo! I actually lost two cards tonight O_O? Dave came and asked, was Adrian 'cheating' by not playing a 60 card deck? He returned the card to me, I conceded to Alex due to superior board and began analyse my situation, checking my deck list.

My feelings at this point was a mixture of both being puzzled and angry. Puzzled at how on earth did I lose those cards, and angry for two reasons: 1) Accused of cheating although it was a mistake although by DCI Floor Rules I did 'cheat' if I wasn't playing a full 60 card deck and 2) Why wasn't I paying more attention to my cards? If I had, I would have realised that it was lost in the first place!

Left Fanboy3 feeling bad, puzzled and angry at the same time. As I walk away I realise that I had left my jacket in there! Grrrr!

Then on the way back I was looking for my phone. Wanted to text Tzong Tay but where the hell was it? Did I actually left it at Fanboy3? OMG Why am I so careless about my stuffs? ='(

I really need to be much careful!

Turn out it was in my room and I was just forgetful that I absent mindedly left it there to charge. =/

I can blame it to the fact that I've been awake for the past 24 hours so I wasn't thinking straight but I think I am really responsible for my clumsiness. It was lucky that it was only a Spikeshot Elder and Dave found it. If it were a Koth or Masticore, I would faint if I realise at any point that it was missing from my deck!

But matters aside, to wrap up, I now got 3 Everflowing Chalice at the moment :p (Haven't pass one to Tzong Tay yet). Makes you feel like wanna get a playset! Although among our group, we do have a playset with me having 2, Tzong Tay 1 and Ming Ken with 1 as he was the lucky person this week getting the lucky draw!

=) FNM been good so far, going for 3-1 each week except once where I actually went 4-0 ^^". Way better than in 2006 where it was a lost at almost every FNM :P. Soon, my ratings will go up. Soon! :p

FNM Report?

2011-01-22T12:31:00.000+08:00

I seriously need to change my Mindset. I CAN BEAT ERIC! For goodness sake why do I keep making silly mistakes when I face against Eric?

Game 1 : Valakut Ramp 2-0 (The only guy apart from Tzong Tay running Valakut)
Needless to say Kudoltha turn 1, bushwhacker turn 2 and goblin chieftain turn 3 for the win. Manage to Kudoltha T1 both games though. Went safe dropping just one goblin guide instead of 2 on Turn two just incase of a pyroclasm. When I was sure he didn't have it, I drop another one + bushwhacker for the win.

Game 2: Pyromancer Ascension 2-0 (Jamie)
Kudoltha Rebirth and and solid pressure for the win since he was lacking of burn spells. Game 2 lasted a bit longer as he kept burning down my creatures and pyroclasm my rebirth tokens. He then later on proceed to drop a Frost Titan Turn 6. He was at 5 life with me hitting with and equiped memnite for 2. Since he was tapped out, I devastating summons for 5 allowing me to have 2 5/5. He conceded after that.

Game 3: Titanz Revenge 2.0 (David)
Round 1 ended quickly with a Kudoltha Rebirth and a quick finish with 3 Bushwhacker in hand and a Goblin Chieftan.

Game 4: Caw Go [U/W Control] (Eric) 1-2
Round one sees him controlling the board via Counterspells and Journey to Nowhere and landing Jace TMS Fateseelng me for the win.

Round 2 I started the game with Goblin Guide and it reveal that he had a Jace TMS on his next draw. Turn two I lay down a Spikeshot Elder and Teetering Peaks. Koth was in my hand but I knew he had a TMS so I was waiting for him to tapped out before I land my Koth. He Ratchet bomb my land that I turned into a 4/4 creature via Koth as he was on 3 life. I hit with a Memnite, then sacrifice it to give him the Idol I just played to him sealing the game as he was on 2 with no creatures to give it back to me.

Round 3 was rather stupid. I wanted to prove a point and avoid the mistake that I did last week mulliganing to 5 with plenty of lands so I kept a 5 land hand. I manage to draw creatures and spell and the game lasted pretty long with me Arc Trailing his Squadron Hawks and trading spells via counter magic. He was finally on 3 life left, I attempted to Mark of Mutiny his Squadron Hawk so that he will drop to one but he blocked it via an activated Collonade. =( Then for the rest of the game, I couldn't draw a lightning bolt OR burst lightning even when I had all of them still in my Deck.

Eric said that if I had mulligan I would have win as the last 3 damage would come pretty swiftly as he didnt have counterspells. Though I really hate Journey to Nowhere and Ratchet Bomb but it couldn't be help.

Though I should have notice that he didn't fateseal me on his last turn before I conceded and instead choose to brainstorm. But I drew a Memnite and that was it, I extended my hand to him and say good game. Only later revealing my starting hand :p.

The person who was at 9 point as well lost in his last round to Rick. I was 2-0 all the way and unless he was 2-0 as well, it would seem reasonable for me to be 2nd place. But it appears that he was 2nd and I was third. Next week, I shall try to record 2-1 instead and try to fight a 6 pointer instead of a 9 pointer. The strategic play would be that, but I think I just want to beat Eric.

Final game count : Eric 3 : 1
2 Loss to his RDW
1 Win and 1 loss to his Caw Go

Though I must say, His RDW is much build towards beating control and mine towards a more stable play beating Aggro decks and control in the sideboard.

Impian

2011-01-20T16:08:00.003+08:00

Seseorang pernah berkata kepada aku bahawa manusia harus mempunyai impian dalam hidupnya.

Seseorang yang mempunyai impian akan bekerja keras untuk mencapai impiannya,

Seseorang yang mempunyai impian, mempunyai hala tuju dalam hidup,

Dan seseorang yang mempunyai impian, tahu akan erti mimpi dan fauna.

Namun begitu, untuk orang yang masih tidak mempunyai apa-apa impian, adakah ia bermaksud mereka hidup tanpa makna? Adakah mereka seperti robot yang dicipta, menjalankan tugas masing-masing tanpa berharap?

Untuk aku, impian merupakan satu punca kekuatan untuk orang mencapai hasrat mereka. Dengan arah tuju, makna kehidupan mereka lebih jelas. Namun kadang-kala, hidup yang nampaknya agak jelas sebenarnya kabur jikalau kita terperangkap dalam persepsi masing-masing. Kita gagal melihat alternatif kepada apa yang berada di depan mata kita.

Dahulu kala, aku terperangkap dalam impian yang aku cipta. Aku inginkan ia begitu saja, mudah dan tidak sempurna. Aku terlalu terkongkong dalam pemikiran yang sebegitu, sehingga aku alpa akan apa yang penting pada masa itu. Boleh dikatakan permikiran aku terlalu cetak dan terlalu pentingkan diri sendiri.

Namun begitu, aku tidak pernah menyesal pilihan aku. Jikalau semuanya sempurna, aku tidak akan mengerti apa itu erti kegagalan, erti berputus asa ataupun erti untuk mencari kekuatan supaya aku dapat berdikari.

Untuk aku, dengan mempunyai impian, kita memperolehi seorang guru yang mengajar kita erti kehidupan. Dari yang salah kepada yang benar, dan dari apa yang nyata daripada mimpi.

Untuk aku, impian hanyalah impian jikalau kita tidak cuba sedaya upaya untuk mencapainya. Namum kita tidak seharusnya berfikiran sempit dalam proses untuk mencapai impian,kerana ia membuatkan kita alpa akan persekitaran kita.

Impian boleh menjadi sumber pendorong, dan ia just boleh menjadi suatu sumber kealpaan. Jadi, adakah impian baik, ataupun sebaliknya?

Untuk aku, impian hanyalah kata-kata, yang diberi makna oleh tuannya.

只能说再见了

2011-01-18T18:31:00.001+08:00

当你喜欢一个人，
但你从来没有表现出来，
他们也许永远不会知道你的真实感受。。

爱是一种难以启齿的感觉，
点燃了人，随着距离微光，
幸福真的那么简单吗？
希望在一个飞机上，
希望爱会消失。

现在我很痛苦，
一个一个慢慢地消失，
回忆过去，
我不记得。

只能说再见了，
再见了。

'One more month to go. Will I have the strength to move on? Metamorphosis like, slowly adapting, but the door still creaks, without a doubt, hope nor faith, slowly falling and falling...

Just like Midori's music box, open and close...'

This thought creep into me as I was watching 18 禁不禁. High School memories is really that sweet eh? The inability to confess one's feeling, the opportunity to experience rejection, acceptance, joy, sorrow, tranquil, comfort, secure, anger, jealousy, restrain, fuzzy, villain, hope, anxiety, worried, lost, defeat and peace are all that I have been through.

When I observe the drama, many of its scenario reminds me of what happened in my schooling years. The rivalry between male and female, falling in love with the person you hate, the need to just fit in, those rebel transition, and definitely those awkward silence when you just don't know what is on the other person's mind.

Sometime we just need reflections of what we have been through, and I am happy that this is one of it. Years from now on, there will be a trigger for me to look back, to indulge in the 'me' that I once were and to see that I have then moved on forward to become a new person and also to where I am standing now.

所有的记忆，
直到我们再次见面，
现在我说再见..

One down one to go

2011-01-18T08:15:00.000+08:00

I remember this time of the year, it was one down FIVE more to go.. *HORROR*

I am pretty lucky this year eh? So today was Foundation of Finance and its at Sackville Stree Building and what was the best thing to do? Almost arrive late for an exam of 20 MCQ (1 Hour Paper). Did some miscalculation and arrive just on time for the exam to start.

Did quite all right I guess, skipped two question cause I mixed up the formula and didn't want to risk it due to negative marking. So far got 1 wrong so the rest should be fine =) Need 15 correct answers and 3 wrongs to still get a First and 13 correct answers and 5 wrongs to get a 2nd Upper. And this is just 20% of the overall course so should be alright. *Fingers cross*

Been the same since I am back from Scotland. Eat, Sleep, Watch Dramas, Play Magic. I've been watching the MTG Broadcast lately. I guess its something to fill the void. Some people ask me am I seeing someone now, the answer is still no. Although I am getting used to being alone, at least in the state of mind (last year physically was no different).

Meet new people via Fanboy 3. Jem, Jonathan, Eric, Liam, Stephen, A. Lawson, David, Kathryn. Its always a challenging game against them (Especially Eric when we meet up in the finals if I manage to get there). Still nice though since he is at 1800+ dci points and I am only at 1600+ points.

Got my Everflowing Chalice for January's FNM, now onwards to get a playset of it. :) Might go for Grand Prix London in April if it allows. Clashes with the Royal Wedding. SIGH!

Anyway room's a mess (Well at least the table is!) but everything else is doing fine. Cutting down on outings to save money =/ but can't wait for the pre-release end of this month. Mirrodin Besieged! To war Mirrans against the ruthless mindless Phyrexians!

PS: I'm supporting the Phyrexians! :)

Ike' Ike

2011-01-09T16:08:00.004+08:00

You, Yes YOU! (There's only 3 readers allowed to view this blog *apart from myself* ;p) so I DEMAND that you all watch this video!

Note: Mute the songlist on the right panel of the Blog first.

Ok the quality of this video isn't that good to be honest. There are some other (pure para para dance version) which looks better. *Hint, watch the Night of Fire Video where Kurikki stares in it. I was laughing all the way through..

So you might remember the era that I was really into Para Para Dancing ( Thanks to the Machine Para Para Paradise). Heck you might even remember the time I danced so hard during our escape trip from Mazuin at PISA to Gurney Plaza during the orchestra trip that I knocked one of the arcade supporting pillar and hurt my arm which forbids me to play my violin during THAT night's performance.

Or maybe someone saw me dancing in the dormitory when they are returning back from Friday Prayers. (Can't blame me, its less embarrassing when a: your dancing in a group or b: no one is watching. Of course I had to choose B!)

It was that era and while listening to some random Japanese song, some Eurobeat songs made their way in.

Memories is indeed sweet =)

Anyway the group is call Hinou Team. The leader is of course Asuka Hinoi :p The rest of the members were Keika Matsuoka, Hikaru Koyama, and Rina Takenaka. Why I used the word 'were' they are now disban sadly. Everyone move on with their life and Asuka Hinoi went solo for a while but I guess they just don't fit that much.

Anyway I admit and agree that Keika is the cutest in the group, but sometimes she's pretty stiff. Asuka reminds me of Yang Chen Ling for some reason but they way she dance, she really put herself into it. Rina is just simply plainly S-W-E-E-T! ^^ Hikaru although she has long hairs (A feature that I adore), something is just so not appealing or may I say not right about her. *Oh I get it, her here is just way too straight. In the Now and Forever video its slightly curl! :p Didn't anyone tell you whats better than long hair? Long hair with curls~

They just seal they deal, every time.

Spend some time downloading their songs and right now its on repeat on my IPod. Top song will be Just For Me. A pretty sweet song to be honest. Listen to eat and savour the lyrics will ya?

Till next time. Gotta grind for my meagre 2 papers >.<

Sad news or Happy News?

2011-01-05T04:46:00.000+08:00

When someone breaks up with another so that he could be with another, is it good or bad?

I recently come over a friend who has broken up with his girlfriend for over a year odd. Trust me, they were really sweet at all that I never foresee this coming.

I guess its only has LDR to blame.

Sometimes we get close to other people without us realising it, even when we are infatuate with our current girl/boyfriend. As time goes by, somehow something went off course and we seem to like the new person more. It may be due to more similar interest, the way they behave , smiles and act or maybe simply because our current girl/boyfriend are a bit too 'stale'. Harsh but face it, we get bored with people after the honeymoon period and facing them each day and uttering lovey goey sentences just become redundant, it become more of a need or routine rather than sincerity.

That's when we know we have to move on and leave that part of our life in the past.

But its harsh and break ups are never easy. I should know better =) I'm still in it. Just 2 more months to go after my 8 months rule and perhaps I'll feel better then. So far so good, I'm reaching maximum appraisal. What's left is to strengthen my heart and maybe fall into the diabolical cycle again. I've promised myself that I will not but well, let's us see.

So this new girl, I don't really know her. Apparently she resides in the same country and it is still LDR. However the special thing is that the two of them share the same birthday in the same year!

*Hypothetical Hypothesis Alert*

So maybe people who's born under the same stars, alignment etc etc yadda yadda a.k.a same day same time with you, might be plausible. After all, under astronomic approach, they share the same traits, interest and so on~

But for now, looking at the girl that got left behind. I feel sorry for her. She was hurt by her ex before, and lost trust in the male species and this friend got her believing that love is possible again. But in the end, its broken again.

Which brings us wondering after this double strike out, will she or will she not fall again? My bet is that she will, given time as the majority of the world isn't really immune to our hormones.

But then again, *sigh* I don't know to be sad or to be happy. Both of them are my friends.

The end of time

2010-12-31T09:08:00.001+08:00

No idea what to expect nor to hope for, but I think it's time to end the year with a total blast. Newcastle here I come!!!

The end if 2010

2010-12-27T02:21:00.000+08:00

I seriously wonder if 2010 has been a good year? It's a year filled with mixed emotions, meeting new people, new experience and rediscovering stuffs.

As the new year countdown draws closer, the winds of my life blew harder, as if it's trying to tell me something. Maybe I am leaving some unfinished business unfinished, or perhaps it's just giving me that one final blow, knocking me down for one last time, just before I embrace the new year with a stronger heart, mind and spirit.

But as of now, Bon voyage 2010!

First time FNM win =)

2010-12-18T15:01:00.004+08:00

My first FNM was in 2006 and being a student I was on a budget deck. Simply just Boros with NO RARES in the deck at all =). Best achievement was 2nd out of 8.

17th Dec 2010

Went off with a bad start where in a practise duel I lost to twice to Tzong Tay (Valakut) and once to Ming Ken (Life Gain Weenie).

I was joking that I should switch to my Elf deck since my Goblin Deck was kinda PMS-ing with me. But I eventually went on with my Gobbos =)

1st Match vs. Pyromancer Ascension

Game 1

He won the die roll and choose to start first. Most of the time it was scry, draw , bolt ish. The pyromancer didn't got active during game and it ended fairly quickly.

Game 2

Was kind of hard, I sided in Jinxed Idol in but he kept mana leak, bolt, burst lightning and into the roil my creatures. In the hand I ran out of gas and surprisingly we just ended the turn for around 4 turns without doing anything.

Ended with a memnite down and sacrifice to jinxed idol for lethal. I really wonder whats in his hand.

Memorial match was that my Memnite got killed of by pyroclasm when it was the only creature on board.

2nd Match against G/W ramp?

Game 1

Won the roll die and started first. Kicked off with Kudoltha rebirth and Goblin Guide. He cast some bird of paradise and garruk but wasn't fast enough.

Game 2

I didn't expect much creatures so I didn't sided in my Mark of Mutiny and Act of Treason. Turn out he sided in some artifact creatures.

The scenario was like this.

He cast Masticore, I kill it, cast Masticore, kill it again, cast Wurmcoil Engine. I scooped. I simply just don't have enough kill spells

Game 3

Started of with turn 2 panic spellbomb and kudoltha rebirth.

Turn 3 bushwhacker (hit for 8)

Turn 4 teethering peaks, bushwhacker and panic spellbomb as he had one blocker and hit for 12 =) Ended fairly quickly!

3rd Match WW Relic Quest

Game 1 - Ended up fairly quickly to turn 1 and 2 kudoltha rebirth and bushwhacker on turn 3 and 4

Game 2 - Scooped as I kept a one land hand and he argentum armor me on turn 3, destroying my land

Game 3 - Didn't board in my Perilous Myr so was shocked when I see Kor Firewalker. >.< Almost gave up but the my Spikeshot Elder was hitting him for 2 each turn while he was trying to stabilise the board.

Ended up the game with 8 Goblins whacking with kicker from Bushwhacker and +1/+1 for the chieftain and 2 5/5 Devastating Summons for 36 damage if unblocked. He could only block 3 so 24 damage pass through =)

4th Match against Caw Go

Its Eric again! I lost to him last week (My only lost). This week he was playing Brian Kibbler's Caw Go Deck with a few modifications of his own.

Game 1

Lost quickly to counterspells and Baneslayer hitting the board on turn 6 when he was on 7.

Game 2

Won due to Spikeshot elder, Goblin Guide hitting him each turn (after getting Ratchet bomb and Day of Judgement several times)

Game 3

He kept a Preordain, Jace TMS , Gideon Jura and 4 lands. It was a definite keeper but sadly for him he kept drawing lands for almost all of the draws till the end. (Except one Mana Leak and this was when my Goblin Guide was giving him a land each turn!)

=) Pretty Glad I boarded in Spikeshot Elder. It has helped save me from losing to WW and winning games against Eric, which I am really scared to face. To make matter worst, we sat on the same table in which I lost last week. He told me he specifically chose that sport for that particular reason. >.<

My Turbo Goblin Deck with my FNM 1st Prize Foil : Wild Nacalt for December

Insanity Boredom

2010-12-13T10:52:00.003+08:00

What if the girl you liked, liked you back?

Such fairytale do exist, although they might not last. But seriously? ZOMG! :D

When did you last drop your phone?
Can't remember. *Scratches head for his phone and looks around for it. Knocks over something. 'HEy thats my phone!* So I guess the answer is now?

PS: Get a Nokia. They are very very durable!

Can money buy happiness?
Money can't buy happiness but they DO ASSIST it a lot!

Do you think women should work or stay at home?
Whatever they want as long as they don't be workaholic

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you'll get it?
I believe in 99% in that, as we will work as hard as we want for that. 1% is just something that is beyond our control.

How many people do you trust one hundred percent?
Truthfully I don't know

How many times do you hit the snooze button in the morning?Till its 15 minutes before lectures =)

Do you ignore people when you're mad/upset with them?
YES.

Do you sleep with a fan on?
Yes PLEASE! But right now since it doesn't exist in my room and its so cold... no.

How many people have you kissed who's name started with an M?
0

Have you told anybody you loved them today and meant it?
No.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
Yeah, but it depends,

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?Ideally the plan used to be get married at 28 (finance should be stable by now), then have kids at 30.

Whose hand did you last hold?Can't remember, been such a long time. Maybe one of the girls during ice skating the other day.

What if you dropped your phone in a puddle?Picked it up, wipe it, test if it works. Done

What is your mom saved as in your phone?Mum

Do you know who your real friends are?
Yes I do =)

Would you change your eye color to blue?
Contact lens!

Would you date a 13 year old at the age you are now?
Would be cute but I think it would be dead awkward so NO!

Is it ever too late to apologize?
Its never to late, but some things just doesn't stay the same.

Who was the last person who left your life and hurt you?

You know who you are, I just wish you all the best.

Do you think things will change in the next few months?
Doubt so, but life goes on =). Oh Exams! Darn it!

What's the last taste in your mouth?Milo =), its great having it when its cold

Do you know any of your neighbors?Yeah all of them :D

List three things near you:
1. My watch

2. Food

3. Laptop?

What was the last thing you watched on the TV?
X-Factor 2010 Final, it was showing at Pizza Co

What was the last thing you looked up on Google?
DFD-based context model of Amazon’s internet system, was trying to find if its on the net or not.

Is there snow on the ground where you are?
Yes, just some trickle

Do you like when people play with your hair?
Certain people but normally I don't mind unless its awkward.

What color is your hair?
Black.

What's the last thing you "aw'd" at?
Normally its an ooooo but does awww man counts? :p

Where is the person who has your heart?
Right where I am, Me =).

What do you hear?Vague electric static.

Congratulations, you just had a baby boy! What's his name?Lassie! Or Beethoven

What are you craving at the moment?
Holidays to come!

Are you in a complicated relationship?
Not even in one. <- I like this so I'm gonna keep it

Who was the last person you said I love you to?
See Tian Feng. Haven't uttered that in months. Not even to my parents :p

What's your favorite thing to do in the summer time?
Travel around!

Do you like silver or gold better?
White gold!

Would you ever dye your hair blonde?
Thinking of it :D but then again.

Whats the latest you've stayed up in the past week?
7.30am

Is your birthday in less than 6 months?
Nope, it was 3 months ago

Would you consider yourself open-minded?

YES

Are you wearing anything that doesn't belong to you?
Nope

Do you hate when people call you when you're sleeping?
YES....

What woke you up this morning?
A phone call..Grrrr

Where were you an hour ago?
Gray's Kitchen, Grosvenor Street Building

What was the last drink you had?
Milo!

Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone?
YES

Did anything annoy you today?
Read the 4th question above this

If you could, would you punch the last person to hold your hand?
I could punch any of the girls during ice skating anytime I want. I just need to run afterwards. ^^

Know a secret?
Yup

If your ex was in trouble and you were the only one that could help him/her, would you?
Sadly its my nature. Can't say no =/

When was the last time you felt like crying?
24th November 2010

Your bf/gf cheats on you. What do you do?
Let her go. If they cheat on you, you know that she doesn't really care about you.

What were you doing this morning at seven A.M.?
About to sleep!

Do you have anything that belongs to a Girlfriend or an ex girlfriend?
Yes, a key ring with my name on it.

What would you say if someone told you they were in love with your brother?Sure go AHEAD!

How many kids do you want to have?
3

This time last last year were you happier then now?I certainly was!

Have you ever been called a bitch?
Nah, it doesn't apply to guys.

When is the next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
Does stuff doll counts? Come here Husky!

Have you ever had stitches?
Yeah, some spots on my face.

Are you giving up on someone?Already did

Do you spend more time on myspace or facebook?
...facebook, myspace just looks creepy.

Do you crack your knuckles?
Yes

What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
Coursework T_T

Your phone is ringing. It's your ex. What do you say?
Hi?

I bet you miss somebody right now.
Terrible, I miss the old me.

Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like?
What better thing to waste time on?

Whose clothes are you wearing?MINE!

Do you wish things were different with someone?
Secretly, yes.

Are you easy to get mad?
Not quite.

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Its possible given the right circumstances.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
I told myself I wouldn't love another. So unless I am suddenly with those from the past. NO. Though in 3 months time my 8 months time limit would be over! Interesting.

Has a guy ever let you wear his jacket?

Nah, I wear my own. :p

The last person you had a thing with comes up to you and says "I'm sorry...".

Well its about time you say that FACE TO FACE! Thanks, now go away! =)

A random signal or is it that fate's clock has decided to turn?

2010-12-10T09:07:00.003+08:00

I don't even know where to start. ;D

I was shrugging myself out of bed on a Tuesday morning, as I have to meet Kieran, Stannah and Ivy at half past 9 for our group presentation. It went sorta okay I guess. Should have more practise but considering that according to Stannah, Kieran is 'crap' at presenting and Ivy just speaks so softly most of the time. It wasn't that bad, but wasn't what I was used to.

Note: Kieran wasn't bad at all, its just that he sometimes forgets what he was suppose to say but making him repeat it multiple times, that was all it took.

Financial Reporting and Accountability workshop was next. Our Mr. (Prof) Xavier [I have the tendency to call all our seminar leaders professor as most of them are PhD students, but apparently he was actually a chartered accountant who volunteered to handle our seminars. It kinda stuck to me anyway but its no offence at all. As a matter of fact, he like being call professor :p] was explaining us on how to consolidate balance sheets and as usual, I'm the one that answers his questions and give him the figures. There was once he ask, can anyone answer this? *looks at me and says* ' Except for Adrian, someone else please. =)

Nah, this blog post isn't about my seminar leader and the 'lazy' people that won't response to his question whenever asked, but rather about something else.

You see, there's this girl (Why does it always has to be ' there's this girl?' when its a boy's story?) that I noticed in our seminar. She's always been there but I had just choose not to notice her (This was the same for everyone for the past 6 months). So today she sat in front of me wearing a light brown trench coat. (My favourite! Don't ask me why, light brown trench coats just affects me much) I then notice her face, features etc and for the rest of the seminar, I kept sneaking a peak at her whenever possible. Not so hard considering she's sitting in front of me, one seat to the right.

Call it a slight crush but she reminds me of the character Black Rose, the original and old one

But her face kinda reminds me or someone else, couldn't really figure out till I went back to my room that day.

So I ran a search and ask Mr. Google, but alas to no succeed. How can I find something that I have vague memory of?

But Lady Luck was smiling on me I guess, I somehow bump into the song Dandelion Promise or 蒲公英的約定 song from Secret and tada! The mystery person was revealed!

Yes! Its Kwan Lun-Mei =), this reminds me of the movie The Most Distance Course or 最遙遠的距離 which really touched my heart back then. Made me cry to be honest :'( (Currently in an attempt to download so that I can watch it again)

Forward to today,

9th December 2010, there was the MBS social. Yin didn't want to go when I asked her last few weeks. I was like, free food , free drinks at HARD ROCK CAFE! Why wouldn't you want to go? I myself didn't had any reasons to go there as in my mind : keep repeating mantra: Hard Rock Cafe is an expensive place, its an expensive place. This was based on my experience in Bali. >.<

Anyway went there and saw Terry (My old flatmate). Went around but no one else recognisable was there (apart from Vivien [lovely person] and the 'evil' Gail Hail which didn't want to give me my Student Rep certificate! Grrrr).

Amed (I think this is how you spell his name?) came later and we talked about our CSCW presentation and about BTP Presentation tomorrow (which is as of time of writing, TODAY!). Went upstairs cause it was getting a bit stuffy as well as we had to stand!

We were just talking and was almost leaving when a group of first year girls approach us and ask if they could sit there. We just smiled and say 'Sure'.

Amed and I continued talking but after a while to stop ourself from being rude, introduce ourselves to the girls and started a conversation. Apparently one of the girls is on my course (AMAIS!). She initially wanted MAIS or ITMB (Amed's course) but was only accepted to AMAIS. (My fault xD, we voted to stop the MAIS Programme as there was too little people in it last year while I was still the Student Rep).

There were some Chinese girls as well. One whose name was Miao and another Ariel. Oh and the girl in AMAIS, her name was Stephanie. There was a Josephine as well. Most of there were Management Students. I didn't get the name of the other two but maybe Amed did.

The interesting bit is for the rest of the night, I found myself constantly looking in Ariel's direction. (She does look like Kwan Lun-Mei a bit) I don't normally do this as I told myself that I wouldn't fall again for another. [Makes a nice escape route in case I ever fall again as I can fall for those I have fallen before, but no one new =)].

Okay so maybe up till now you might think that this post is dedicated to writing that I have had not one but in fact noticed TWO girls in one week. Where I have failed to make myself noticed any girls at all for the past 6 months, even when so many pretty innocent looking girls are around. (Due to the fact that I just couldn't be bothered to because A: Fragile Heart, B: My Promise to myself C: Looking at another girl just makes me recall sad moments).

Is this a sign? Or something to tell me that my subconscious mind had moved on? Truthfully, I'm not interested in any of the above two. But is my heart done sulking and has it put on a new set of armour for Round 2?

I seriously don't have a clue

Or maybe I'm just attracted to Kwan Lun-Mei so much that I started seeing her in other people? But wait, it was the girl at the seminar first that led to Kwan Lun-Mei then Ariel. So now what?

Gosh, I sound so stupid in this post! I should just stop and get my sleep so we would be prepared for tomorrow's presentation.

Which I will do now, so Good Night and Toodles!

FUNKY MONKEY BABYS「希望の唄」

2010-12-01T05:59:00.000+08:00

あなたがいて　あなたといて

もしこの世にあなたが　存在していなかったら
100ある笑顔のうち　少なくとも40は無くなる
もしも地球の裏側　あなたがいると分かったら
無くなった40の笑顔　取り戻すため海を渡ろう
あなたの涙が雨になる　あなたの言葉が風になる
諦めかけて乾いた心に　希望という花が咲いた
ああ気付いてほしい　この歌の意味を知ってほしい
僕にとってこんなにも　大事で必要な人

あなたがいて　あなたといて　こんなに幸せになるよ
忘れないで　そのぬくもり　他の誰でもないあなた
あの涙も　その笑顔も　あの涙も　その笑顔も

この無数にある出会いの中　偶然あなたと繋がった
もしも出会えてなかったなら　夢すら持ててなかった
いつの間にかあなたの笑顔が　変わらない本当の居場所
心から支えられている　だから僕は笑っていられる
ともに遠回りとかもしたけど　辿って来た夢の足跡
昔から変わらず今でも　沢山の勇気をありがとう
振り返らずにまた前へと　これからも重ねて行く年
僕には歌しかないけれど　ずって見守って欲しい

※あなたがいて　あなたといて　こんなに幸せになるよ
忘れないで　そのぬくもり　他の誰でもないあなた
この世界で　一人だけの　あなたに出会えた奇跡が
こんな僕を　勇気づける　力があなたにはあるの※

いつも愛してくれた人よ
僕に今　何か出来るなら
探していた　未来の灯を
あなたと分かち合いたい

(※くり返し)

あなたがいる　あなたといる
あなたがいる　あなたといる
La La La La…

I want to Fly~

2010-12-01T05:00:00.001+08:00

Wo Yao Fei Fei Yue Shang Bei Yi Zhong Jie Jin Guang De Gan Jue
Zi You Shi Meng Xiang Wu Bian Wu Ji De Neng Yuan
Wo Gan Fei You Meng Jiu Zhui Yi Zhong Jiao Ao Zun Yan De Mei
Ju Da De Kao Yan Xian Zai Jiu Yao Kua Yue

Fei Fei Fei Fei Fei Fei Wo Xiang Fei
Zhui Zhui Zhui Zhui Zhui Jue Bu Hou Tui
Fei Fei Fei Fei Fei Fei Wo Xiang Fei Ya (Wo Xiang Fei)

Wo Yao Yong Li Fei Bu Guan You Duo Yuan
Chao Y? Le Ji xian TIao Zhan De Mao Xian
Wo Yao Yong Gan Zhui Ben xiang Dao Zhong Dian
Tong Guo De Lei Shui Huai Lai Shi Tian Mei

Wo Yao Fei

Wo Yao Fei

Dear the man in the mirror,

You did not just simply choose the name Zephyr for yourself for nothing.
You wanted to fly free, following the gentle west wind around the world.
You wanted to see the world, explore it's magnificent wonders endlessly.

Without bound,
Without chains,
Without worries.

But why is it the higher you fly, the more you want to be chain to the grounds?
Perhaps I am more like a kite, the higher I go, the more I see.
But once I lose my ties to the ground, the wind will no longer carry me above,
But drop me down to the harsh and solid earth.

Which is a good thing I guess. Once cannot be too carefree after all.

Fairy Tale?

2010-11-28T21:13:00.002+08:00

Kah Yean posted this link on Facebook. I like how harmonize it was with the violin and trumpet. Really reminds me of the time spend in Studio 1 back in KYS. =')

This song has always affected me, into believing that fairy tales can exist. Even now as I am losing hope, it gives me the strength to go on, to believe that it still exist somewhere.

PS: Mute the song track on the right panel of this blog first. =)

White bats

2010-11-25T12:36:00.000+08:00

I was dancing on the dance floor,

Pumped with adrenaline and carefree though I wonder why,

I wasn't like this the year before,

Oh wait, there isn't any guilt this time,

Nothing to care for, nothing to worry about,

I'm single.

Does it always feels this awesome?

And I have chosen to ignore it for so long?

And then there came a vision of a 'white bat',

As I close my eyes to the rhythm of the floor,

And I dance with you, smiling.

Perhaps a lie isn't so bad after all.

For once I smile in months

PS: Happy Birthday Sash! Hope you enjoy the Russian Standard I bought you. And remember, its only for you. NO ONE ELSE should take a sip out of it!