Day 1 : Ten things you want to say to ten different person right now

I'll shall write it to whoever pops up in my mind right now. It is in chronological order

1. Chu Mei - You were my childhood friend, someone I shared everything with. Its funny how we lost contact and I don't thing we'll ever meet up again unless our fates are entwine somehow. Thank you for an amazing childhood memories.

2. Rosetta - I don't think you remembered me but I still remember the day, when you gave me flowers and say I love you and I want to marry you when I grow up. Being little, I didn't understand those words but it gave me a shock. Sorry to have just ran off just like that. I guess being Asian makes me unable to understand romance from a French Girl. However this fond memory makes me chuckle every time I think of it. For that I thank you.

3. Leon - You and I were besties when we were in primary school. We lost contact when you changed school and even when we met up later on, the bond just isn't there any more. This taught me that distance makes you forgets. Thank you for that lesson.

4. Chee Kit - You were my longest childhood friend. I seriously don't remember how we met and why we became friends. But you taught me a lot of stuffs. From being nice to being naughty, things I wouldn't thought of otherwise. I don't understand some choices you made, but I couldn't understand myself, so why would I understand you? Thanks for being there as well as being my friend.

5. Meor - I know you have another life now, but back then thanks for helping me move around in KYS because of my accident. You were patient and nice. Sorry for the trouble over that Pokemon card incident. Memories of how it became big now are so blurry but I just get laughter over how childish we are now. You are someone with Hyper Ventilation and I, myself with Hyper Tension. The two hyper, the two duos. I wish you well.

6. Melissa - You were always my role model when I was growing up. A CC, an athlete, smart in your studies, Violin 1 in the college orchestra and with a superb personality. I think I've never told you but the real reason I wanted to be in violin 1 was not because it is violin one, the top 'rank' and people there are considered the best. But just because it lets me hang out with you and Chong Li Li more often during practise.  More or less I join the athlete team because of you, I want to be more like you. Though CC was never my cup of tea, I tried to follow in your foot steps by being a Librarian and ultimately being a Head Librarian. Choosing Sime Darby was also because of your choice, you told me that Sime has more opportunities than Bank and I went with that. Thank you for being my role model, and thank you for being my Pet Sis albeit a while as you told me that we are adults now and 'pet sis' was something childish in high school. I'll forever look at you as a sister to me. :) To me, you are forever my Kak Mel.

7. Ika - Your headstrong, stubborn and rebellious. Keep it up. Life would be boring otherwise. Don't you reckon so. You looked innocent back then with big puppy dog eyes (yeah your contact make your sepet eyes looks slightly bigger). Thanks for being there for me and sorry I hurt you. Was immature back then so what can you expect? Nothing I could say but to apologies and no matter how many times I've said it. I just can't seem to say I'm sorry enough. It seems that it is just something that I couldn't forgive myself with. But I'm glad you are happy with your life now. All those memories we had, I'll keep it in a little corner of my mind. You are someone that doesn't give up, I know that. And I know you'll do well in the future.

8. Mrs. Beadsworth - You made my stay in KYUEM a wonderful one. Seeing you 4 times a day never seems to bore me. From computing lessons, psychology lessons, tutorial sessions as well as life saving practise, you taught me everything I needed to know. You gave me guidance whilst I was in KYUEM and I couldn't thank you enough. For you, made the stay in the jungle an interesting stay and not a boring one.

9. Tian Feng - I don't really know what to say to you right now. Perhaps I am still angry, perhaps I am just speechless. But from strangers to friend to close friend and finally a couple. I learn a lot from you. Perhaps the time spend together was just a transition time, a time of learning and perhaps karma payback. You made me who I am today, someone who thinks freely but however afraid to love. Perhaps its better this way as I am always unstable whilst I am in a relationship. Sometimes I tend to work harder because I am afraid that I would be called a useless boyfriend that couldn't match up or live up to expectations. I studied harder, learnt more because of you. You were my drive to excel till I become the top of my class for the year. I wanted an achievement you could be proud off. But that aside, that time we spent together, instead of a lover, I most often see you more as a very close friend. Someone to support and share tears and laughter together, without much commitments. I've realised that quality time is better than quantity (Isn't it always?), but as youngsters we tend to want quality and quantity as well. For now, I just want a friend and no lover. Thanks for that.

10. Myself - Dear Adrian, from a young kid to now. I've seen through your achievement and scars. The mask and lies you put on, you should really unshackle yourself from it. We only live once, so go and do everything that you want to. Don't be over committed to things, don't worry to much and go and enjoy. You have lived a life full of expectations and demands, you have warred with yourself and its time you won. So a note to you, be cool and be the person you have always want to be. Unmasked.

Seems to be like a recall of memories and thank you notes instead. Note that my parents are excluded from this because of I want to say something to them, I would have called them instead of writing it here in my blog. As for memories aside, its way too much to be written down.

Till tomorrow, adios.

10 Days challenge

10 days till the start of my 2nd year final exams. And I happen to stumble on this 10 Days Challenge at Tumbler.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession

So here goes nothing :). Lifeless much

Procrastination and thoughts

So my room is now clean and I've made a timetable for myself. (well sorta guideline). 


Went to McDonalds for breakfast cause there wasn't any milk in the fridge. Was just the usual, double sausage McMuffin, double Hashbrowns with hot chocolate. While I was eating my breakfast I saw a chinese girl walk by across the street and she was eating an ice-cream. Wait, what. Ice-cream in the morning?


Ice-cream in the morning, really?


Somehow seeing her reminded me of Mel, of one time on our way back for Chinese New Year in 2005. I remember the date cause I was the year I first joined the athletes squad in KYS. When the 'driver' was driving us to the Malacca Central and had to stop by at a petrol station to refill the tank first, she asked if she could go out to the shop and get ice-cream. Funny scene really as the driver looked at her and said 'Kau nak makan ice-cream pagi-pagi ni. Tak takut sakit ker?'.


I still remember the giggle she had and  I, myself still being a child, giggled as well as I wanted an ice-cream as well. Who said ice-cream can't be eaten in the morning? It is just somehow unusual for people to eat ice-cream in the morning. :)

That aside, I saw two elderly couple walking side by side, holding each others hand. Sweet isn't it. I then thought of the time when someone said, 'I want someone that I can be with, someone that will how my hand till the end or 永远一起手牵手. It made me smile slightly looking at them, so happy even when they are old.


However looking and holding my necklace that I found when cleaning my room earlier this morning, reminds me that I don't have that chance any more. I somehow made an oath to myself and I want to keep it for as long as my heart is scarred.

For you once know me, I thank you for nothing.

You're just another relic from the past, I wonder whether the other half is still in existence.

Anyway here is the song 'Thank you for nothing'. 

I was listening to it when I was looking at my partially completed scrap book. Initially I wanted to complete it last summer but there wasn't any reason to complete it after I came back from Bangkok. Simply, because there was no one to give it to.

But for now, I need to study! >_<;

Nostalgic time , fun time over, onwards to full throttle!

Okay, time to remove all the games from my computer and change to full throttle for studying. Exams is freaking next week :'(.

At least its well spread out.

So guys, see you later. Will be updating from time to time

I'm sure we can fly, on my love

'After an endless dream, in this miserable world 
That's right, maybe not using common sense isn't so bad after all 
Even with these awkward wings, dyed with images that seem to stay 
I'm sure we can fly, on my love'

-Butterfly-

Remembering childhood times is sure fun, now I understand why an adult likes to sit there and recall his past.

Strangers again

We walk down together on this path,

We shared our happiness, adrenaline, drama, moments, smiles and laughter.

Then comes separation, anger, jealousy, stalking and regrets.

We try to hold on, but the feeling just became awkward.

Soon we lose contact, and you are just another one of my memories.

I kept the belongings that escape the fire, that was kept elsewhere.

The notes from chocolates dedications, flowers dedications, printed photos, posters, jacket and perfumes.

And even a book, a blue log book and a black album in making that was never complete.

In those remnants our memories are held,

A person I once knew,

Alas, a stranger now.

Just for me

I wrote this song, its not too long,
cause I've been thinking 'bout you,
I wrote this song, maybe I'm wrong,
To be caught up about you.

Khalil Fong

I am not someone who sings well. As a matter of fact I came to believe that I am tone deaf (In singing at least since I often sing mono tone).

I believe singing songs is a rite of life, something we do to harmonize ourselves with the events that passes us each and every day. The tears and joys of past and future, that we hope to one day experience, remember or forget. 

I still remember back in the good old days, I was a member of the choir. Mrs. Koay (Ironically she is not related to me despite having the same surname) recruited all three of us into the school choir group. Back then I had practise, and I sung. 

High school? Not even one bit. I think it was after a talent time audition that Ms. Judy told me that I need to practise more as my singing had no variations in them. I was just on the same tone most of the song. I stopped singing then, gradually in public and then lately stop when I was showering as well. I just hum most of the time. 

Though singing is part of life, and I start singing back, a least in secret. My friends knew I was singing to myself, but they will never hear it. I'm too timid to let them hear it all out.

This past events, this turmoil has led me to write a song. Its not such a long song and when I sang it, it was around 3 minutes long. I'm actually surprise how well it went. :)

So whenever I feel lonely, sad or happy I'll listen to my own recording of this song. Its a song written and sung by me, just for me.

Isn't that nice?

Miles after miles,

I’ll run to the sun,

If I could chase,

A million stars I would,