Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Private Bloggy

OK, blog has turn private cause I want to keep stalkers away. Another reason is because I don't want the world to know that this Adrian Koay that they knew keeps breaking down now and then.

I bet it would be an eye sore to see 'this particular guy' rambling each day.

Under the influence of Disbelief and Hatred, I once again hurt the person I care. I feel very bad now but at that moment, I was just caring for myself. An selfish act.

Don't want to talk about it anymore. I've shed enough tears, think more than I should have, and been in depressed for a long time.

Time to wake up Ady!

Attempt no. 2

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

-Untitled Post-

I miss the time when someone told me you cried, because you rejected me.

I tried so hard to remember how we initially got close. It was through wake up calls in the morning that we initially became more than friends.

I miss the time where we would just be next together, not speaking but just enjoying each other’s company.

I tried so to convince myself, it’s not your fault. But deep down inside, I can’t accept that you only want to look at one side of the coin and not both.

I miss the time where you would walk in front of me, and I would follow obediently like a puppy following its Master.

I tried so hard to convince myself, if the reason is because you have doubts or because you lack the courage, I’ll wait for the day to come when you would think otherwise.

But since you believe it won’t come. Therefore it won’t be.

This makes me regret of starting it in the first place. Cause you gave it up halfway.

I don’t blame anyone. I’m just disappointed in myself.

This is the last post of this blog before it turns private

Preserving or Breaking it up?

Should I preserve the memories of old, or break it all up as it was a lie. That words were just lies to push me further apart?

I don't have the appetite.
I don't have the strength at night.
I don't have the courage to see.