Rewind and Play

12 years ago….

Mandarin was my medium of communication during my early years.

It’s funny how a small incident back then can changed everything.

I swore never to touch Mandarin ever again. I hated it for the troubles it caused me. The infinite nagging, comparison to my siblings and my future if I couldn’t get 100% in my exams now, what will happen to me in primary school and as well as in the future?

Years I evaded that language. I even told Sensei Aoki Mikiko that I didn’t want to learn Kanji as it was Mandarin. Dialect was all that I used. To be frank, Hokkien and Cantonese was all I need to survive in Penang and KL. English was the main lingua franca so I’ll guess I survive till the end without it.

Mandarin, the most spoke language in this world.

Present day…..

I’m trying my best to relearn it again. It seems hard but I believe that where there is a will, there is a way.

I’m lucky to have a great teacher that doesn’t mind when I ask the same question three times in the row. =) (Don’t be angry if I ask the fourth time ^_^)

I’m lucky that she’s the one teaching me, bearing with all my nonsense and correcting me every now and then.

At some times, some laughter had to be shared. However, I am trying to make it a two sided joke instead of a one way rattling of the funny bone.

To persevere and strives towards the future, together as one.

Cloud Nine

Euphoric, fantastic. I'm in the clouds today.

Perhaps

I stood there as eternity burned before me. Ashes of people once known to me were flying, like crumpled sand in a sandstorm. 

At that point, memories of the past engulfed me like fire.

Guilt, Compassion, Love, Sorrow, Happiness, Anger, Hatred.. 

All were brushing pass me. My whole life was replayed before my eyes. 

Did I felt regret over the things which I have done?

Yes.

Did I felt regret for things that I never pursue? 

Yes .

Suddenly, all those images and feelings were gone. Eternity as well faded away. The scenery changed into something darker. 

A labyrinth. A maze.

I look around me as the light grew dimmer. Darkness was crowding in, and shadows begins to lurk. I hasten my steps and began wandering. 

To the left....

And to the right...

Left...... Right..... Right.... Left....

Where is my destination?

I do not know.

Why am I here?

I do not know.

This feeling, suppressed in me. It feels like its about to burst, but yet it is not time. For now, the shades rules the realm.

Suddenly, I reach a dead end. A solid door with ancient carvings on it. I see a man, holding a bird in its hand. Next to it were inscription with words of the old.

"To gain another, one must first lose thyself,

To seek one's heart desire, undo the cradle of life,

To become one, to be full, one must understand......."

I gasped at the inscription. 

It was incomplete.

Understand what? 

I look around , distracted by a figure.

Great! There is a level. Perhaps thats the key to open the door.

A weak smile curved on my face as I reach out my hands to pull the level. A last to my dismay, my hand went through it. It was as if it was just a projectile, there to fool man.

I looked around, half ranting, half sulking. And then I saw,

Next to the level was yet another inscription.

"Only those worthy will pass."

Am I not worthy, or is it not time? 

For a moment I sat down to ponder. Time revolves around me, aging my surrounding as I stayed there, motionless. My hair grew, snakelike and long. Black strands turned into grey, white hair. A mixture of both. The labyrinth fade away and what was left was a meadow, full with daisy at the very far end.

At that moment, I woke up into reality. 

Perhaps it was only a dream. 

Perhaps it was my sub conscious telling me something.

Perhaps, just maybe,

It was nothing.

 

Realised

The zephyr blows on top the misty peak,

Clearing the fog that clutters his mind,

For once the air is clear,

For once the sun can be seen.

Its has come to my conscious that some thing may never happen, while some might just happen. In the attempt to clarify things, I have found that hope can go in some directions, while remain false in most.

Things has been different for me. Breaking some principles I have set back when I was young, perhaps its time for a change? Things must flow with time, as well as life principles I suppose. Something are just not applicable anymore.

Life Saver

Dishwasher soap          = NO!

Dynamo                         = NO!

Ink Stain Removal       = Partially, so NO!

Clorox                            = YES

Love Capiche?

The World revolve at its axis,
Ignorant of time and space,
The shadow comes and goes,
Leaving trails behind it.


Memories fade away,
T'was life was found,
Refreshed a new,
Simplicity at its least.

For once the earth stood still,
For once time shall stop,
For once man was reborn,
For once everything is new.


Unknown path freshens the mind,
Bedazzled by the ants of life,
In this moment he seeks wonders,
Close to his heart, the answer was found.

Well yesterday I was cycling with Daniel and Maalini. On our way back we stumble onto some cats which apparently just jumped down from the roof of the guard house. Truthfully, I despise cats.

The Reasons?

Some cats bullied my dog when it was still a puppy, and it was limping afterwards for 2 weeks. It was actually a stray dog (We weren't allow to keep dogs at our housing area =/ ) but it slept in front of my house (we sorta made a house for it), played with me the whole time and comes running towards me when I'm done with school until I got realy attached to it.

So imagine the sadness that I had, when poor little Snowy came to me, limping.

Back to the cats. When we looked up, we saw two kittens. A bit adorable (But I still won't keep them as my pets), so we took out our phones to snap a photo of it. Probably they are used to paparazzi, and the two little kitten actually POSED! They were wandering around but when our camera phones were out, they stood by each other and looked down. They only went away when we kept our phones.




These were the two kittens in which the parent left them both on the roof.

Adorable, capiche?

Later that night I was rummaging through Azfar's phone for songs, he did the same to mine. Found this song I have realy liked for a long time and finnaly, I know the title!

Its 1234 by Plain White T's

Enjoy the lyrics

1-2-1-2-3-4

Give me more loving than I’ve ever had
Make it all better when I’m feeling sad
Tell me I’m special even when I know I’m not
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely getting mad
I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you

You make it easy
Its easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4
There’s only one thing
To Do
Three words
For you
(I love you) I love you

There’s only one way to say
Those three words
That’s what I’ll do
(I love you) I love you

Give me more loving from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Best that I’ve had
And I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you
You make it easy
It’s easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4

There’s only one thing
To Do
Three words
For you
(I love you) I love you

There’s only one way to say
Those three words
That’s what I’ll do
(I love you) I love you
(I love you) I love you

You make it easy
It’s easy as 1 2 1 2 3 4
There’s only one thing
To Do
Three words
For you
(I love you) I love you

There’s only one way to say
Those three words
That’s what I’ll do
(I love you) I love you
(I love you) I love you
1-2-3-4
I love you
(I love you) I love you

A new Era perhaps?

For the next few post, I've decided to write what I feel in poetry. So bear with this 'poet' who sucks at it. >_<"

-Untitled -

The Wind that blows from the Netherlands,

Travels west in search of vanity,

Lost, dumbfold with no sense of direction,

It breezes wildly towards the west.

Distance unknown, time stops,

Withers gently , weak and fragile,

The flowers from the peak of Himalayas,

A companion for two.

Dash of red, dash of yellow,

A scent so gentle, yet unknown,

Clouded in a crystal ball,

Bestowed upon the gypsy girl.

Wandering isle, clouded in mist,

A date to beckon, do ye not agree?

A father to many, a son to none,

Leaves a silver trail, for many to follow.

And yet the wind blows in vain,

Through the Labyrinth of Life,

Seeking, yet not seeking,

A puzzle of Life

I now declare an open invitation to whosoever that would like to decipher this post. :D

A collection of something, as if.

Part 1

 

Sadness before Happiness,

Fall before Rising,

Sick before Well,

Broken before Completed.

 

It seems in an everyday life, or perhaps in life itself generally, things come in pairs. Sometimes in ways which we could not fathom or predict, it just is.

 

There are always two (or perhaps more) views or perception to a point, condition, and situation etcetera etcetera. However, can you stand on both sides? The answer is unique to each individual as some can see from both sides while others remain a uno perspective.

 

For me, after several years of handling problems, I've realised that in the eye of the storm, everyone holds a bit of responsibility towards the problem. You can never say it’s entirely someone's fault as other people's actions might prompt another person's action which will repeat itself in a long and whirly cycle which will result in someone making a wrong decision giving way for hell to break lose on earth.

Therefore in my opinion, everyone should at least bear a bit of responsibility when a problem occurs and not just blame it entirely on an individual, or perhaps a group of individuals. You might never know, but you might be the butterfly in the whole storm metaphor.

 

Things was going well back in the old days, as the other party would be sensible to listen and discuss to find the root of the problem and thus later on a solution. However, not all will do that. They are the kind that could not accept themselves at wrong, wanting to be perfect, in denial kind of person. They escape from problems by changing the subject and start making excuses just for a cover up. Sounds familiar? We all do know this kind of person in our life. If not now, perhaps in the future.

 

I have to admit that when I was young, I used to be that kind of person. However, lying and making up stories tend to lead to more problems or if it was solve, it is at other's people expenses. The innocent if you want to name it. Twas the time I learnt to change, to listen, to negotiate and to accept people's opinion on situation. See it as a whole and not just judge it from one side. 

 

Ponder for a while and think. Will you feel good if you escape your verdict at other's people's expenses? If you do, then I have nothing to say. Those people should have never have existed.

 

I would say that I would be happy if I have my friend to defend for me. Two is better than one however there lies truth in the saying ' Too many cooks spoils the broth'. Take a while and ponder, are your action justified and is the right thing to do? Will this has any adverse on my friend? I know if someone hurt your friend, the easiest way is to seek revenge and hurt him/her back. An eye for and eye, a tooth for a tooth, insult for insult ... yadda yadda. 

 

But seriously do use God's greatest gift to mankind, the ability to think. You do have to realise that the person who you are seeking revenge have friends to. If he/she thinks the same way, he/she will be the next to seek revenge and the cycle will continue with your friend and their friend.

 

Let those who are involved solve their own problem. It’s okay to seek advice but once you stepped in verbally or physically. You're in for a tough show.

 

Part 2

 

Venturing near the end of my college life, it seems that it was not exactly what I've always dreamt back in high school. As days past and season changes, life unfolds itself, mysteriously as it used to.

 

Throughout these 18 months, 

 

Did I grow?

Did I become a better person?

 

Have I make an impact to the world, or perhaps the society around me?

Have I become wiser?

 

Will I remember these memories?

Will I succumb to the sins in life? 

 

Questions unfolded,

Waiting to be answered,

In the eyes of the Almighty,

I seek thy guidance,

For one was lost,

For another shall be found,

In dire situation lies the challenge,

A challenge of worthiness,

In the eyes of the beholder.

 

To wrap things up,

 

Ye are who ye seek to be, nonetheless greater, nonetheless stronger.

 

Precious Moments

Me : I need a break.

Self Concious : Go KL and hang out..

Me : Blergh, when?

Self Concious : Saturday, Mid Valley.

Me : Owh, okay... but exam is next week =/.

Self Concious : Just go, danmit! 

I've never can make decisions when it is thrown to me. Most of the time I will settle for coin flips. I'll flip 3 coins at the same time and well, the probability is around the same but more random than a 50:50 coin toss.

Mid Valley trip is tomorow and Chee Kit is coming to KL. Perhaps I can meet up with him as well as the other KL x|GgT-| members. 

Everybody is busy talking about prom night. Gosh, to think of it. It might be my first! LOL. All these years back in high school, it was just Annual Dinner. Well , living up to its name, it was just a dinner and some award presentation to the fifth former. Plain boring but that was what excites us back then in a jungle in Malacca.  

Oh the old days....

Last week when I was back at home, my mum threw me this question.

Mum : How did you and Chee Kit became friends anyway? He's a year older than you and you're definitely not in the same class. 

Me : Can't remember, we just clicked.

The truth is, it just clicked back then. Me, Gee Kin and Chee Kit. We used to get into a lot of trouble back then. Pretty adventurous I suppose. 

Now, everyone is doing their own thing but we still hang out sometimes during the holidays.

Gee Kin is studying Culinary Arts (He's good at it), Chee Kit with Mass Communication and me? Plain boring Accounting. :D

Different people, different path.

Friends are all, a whole as one.

Of Swimming gala and tests

Swimming gala was today for boys and well I could say that the House of Diamond retain its title as the overall champion. =) Got 2nd for my breastroke although I wasn't realy that keen on swimming today =/, still feeling a bit emo and stuff especially when people tell me that I'm gonna be okay. Seriously, they meant no harm but well, it just kinda reminds of the incident which I don't realy want to think about right now.

Test are comming in downpours as next week is the start of A levels paper, only 6 days to go. Woo! I've got P3 Maths tommorow, Computing AS and Economics P4 to be taken on thursday as well. Gosh, give me a break!

In a way I'm glad I've made my decision last year. I have finnaly seen the true side of one person, the person who I was not keen on remembering. To whoever it is, having you laughing at me for an hour wasn't pleasent at all. If you think its your form of revenge or whatsoever, we know who will have the last laugh. Its ME!

If you want to say its karma, perhaps you should remember that you did break someone 's heart before that. So I guess we are pretty even. 

For now, I am no longer going for shorties. Who said that they're cute must be a moron. :D 

Time to Consider...

The author has just went over a pretty unexpected weekend. Events of friends and perhaps crushes has thrown him into The Blind Entities. There, he had all the time in the world to reconsider his priorities in life and decided to shift some upward and some downward.

Perhaps its the x|GgT-| (GoD Give Talent Ex) decision to promote and demote some members has an influence in this? Maybe, just maybe.

The rank has change after careful consideration, the list is as followed:

1. Family

2. Friends

3. Studies

4. Personal Development

5. Girls

The author has decided that girls should be least prioritize as it has been ranked no. 1 for the past 5 years and it did the author no good, perhaps a bit of harm towards the rest of the priorities.

Therefore he shall make haste and venture on another path for the next few years. His heart is still fragile from the last breakup he had and to suffer from another one has put his heart into the ICU department. His trust on his judgement has withered and he no longer can see beyond the complexities of mankind. 

Nevertheless, he has found the answer to a piece of his life puzzle. One of the many pieces yet to come and he is satisfied for now. However the next few months which lies ahead will test his strength and endurance to the max. Will he survive and ascend to the skies above or will he be dammed and decend to the underworld?

That is for a seer and time to tell. 

A Day of Rectifying

Firstly, Happy Birthday to Zhao Han.

Look at how much you have grown... 

From a sweet innocent child to...

.....Who you are today.

I'm glad you have finnaly answered the question that has been thrown to you for quite some time. 

I'm glad to have finnaly gotten some answer, now its time to move on and carry on my life. Thanks for your influence in my life and motivation you gave me (Don't ever stop that!). I'll never forget it. I'll carry bits of this memory with me and who knows, perhaps years latter.. we might just have a drink and laugh over it.

The sacrifices over time and people, whether its worth it or not I can only tell on my deathbed after going through it all. No one knows what will happen if I venture onto a different path but as I've made my choice in life, this is what I've made of life and this is how I'm living my life.

Ok, as of today I would like to declare that I'm officially single and available. Those interested can summit their resume via adriankth@hotmail.com =)

Let's start a new and fresh ok everyone? You know have a mind blowing mahia on the run. (Mind Blowing Mahia as the background music... Lol.)

"The Killers - Sweet Talk"

Lift me up on my honour
Take me over this spell
Get this weight off my shoulders
I've carried it well
Loose these shackles of pressure
Shake me out of these chains
Lead me not to temptation

Hold my hand harder
Ease my mind
Roll down the smoke screen
And open the sky

Let me fly
Man I need a release from
This troublesome mind
Fix my feet when they’re stumbling
And well you know it hurts sometimes
You know it's gonna bleed sometimes

Dig me out from this thorn tree
Help me bury my shame
Keep my eyes from the fire
They can’t handle the flame
Grace cut out from my brothers
When most of them fell
I carry it well

Let me fly
Man I need a release from
This troublesome mind
Fix my feet when they’re stumbling
I guess you know it hurts sometimes
You know it's gonna bleed sometimes

Now hold on
I’m not looking for sweet talk
I’m looking for time
Top a tower and sleep walk
Brother, cause it hurts sometimes
You know it's gonna bleed sometimes
Hold on

You know its gonna hurt sometimes
When you call me
Hold on
Hold on
Hold on

I’m gonna climb that symphony home and make it mine
Let his resonance light my way
See, all these pessimistic sufferers tend to drag me down
So I could use it to shelter what good I’ve found