Hey October, please be kind.

Dear world,

I know I haven't been in my goody two shoes lately, but that doesn't mean that you can hit on me whenever you want. :(

Sincerely,
Adrian

PS: It hurts on the head y'no?

Whatever happens....

..... we grew and perfected ourself for a better person, someone out there in the future.

Been putting myself off from watching this short from WongFu, cause I know it will bring back memories.

Soapiness aside, AA paper is next week. When was the last time I posted about exam anyway? :P

Thoughts...

'Just because he left doesn't mean that he’s gone forever.

He will eventually come crawling back to you because he just likes you that much.

He wants you bad.

He just doesn't show it because he’s scared that you don't like him any more.

Yet your dying inside to have him back. You’d do anything because you like him that much. '

Found this random quote online. Seems nice if its true.

As time goes by, it gets weirder...

'Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You
change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts.
Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn.
Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has
nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is
give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so
the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step.'

-Kafka on the Shore-

Someone once told me that time wil heal me, that I will learn to love again. Thing is, after 3 years, I'm starting to doubt if I can indeed love again. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm still attracted to people. I have a few crush on my list at the moment, some near and some pretty far away. But then, I rather have them as partners, to spend the time with, no strings attached. 

I want to have dinners, go watch a play or a movie. Go on an adventurous trip, walk down the beach or just be plain silly and fool around. Cuddle on the couch, or some sort like that.

I want a person that when she smiles, my entire world smiles with her. I want a genuine smile, not the sad smile that I put on these days. 

I want to hear laughters again. Laughters that can drown my entire world. Keep me aside for a moment and rocket me to cloud nine once again.

I want.......

But it ain't feasible. For one, I still have restrain that I'm putting on myself. 

First off, to deserve someone as 'perfect' , I have to be no less than 'perfect' myself, or whats close to it. I need to get rid of my defects, my scars of what is deem imperfection.

This of course means financial, physically and educationally. 

我需要房子，车子和事业。

This of course, put my trajectory eligibility age to at least 27. ICAEW is going to take another 3 (Est 26] years at the very least, then CFA [3 years, Est 29]. Then maybe if I'm still up for it I'm going to do Masters [1-2 years, Est 31]. Woots, I'm going to be 31 before I know it! That is provided I do not take any break from studying!

Working life as it is, is pretty lifeless during the week. Take weekends away from me [for studying] and there you have the famous saying; 

'Where got time...?' [Insert ah beng tone].

I do not have time for commitment to another party. I, however, do have the time to indulge in life's little pleasures.

So what is it with this post? To be honest, I haven't the slightest clue myself.

Maybe time will tell, maybe time will forget. But one thing definitely, my perception is getting weirder by the day.

Mii-chan!!!

Of from work on Friday and went to check on the latest AKB48 news.

I was so shocked to see Minegishi Minami with her head all shaved. What the hell was going on?

For the full story you can read it here

http://thevine.com.au/entertainment/news/minegishi-minami-of-akb48s-sex-scandal-and-shame-shaving/

Or just google it.

She broke a rule, yeah I know. But.... its still a big too much. 'Kudos' to Shukan Bunshun. Nasty people, paparazzi.

She's currently demoted to a trainee, but she will rise again.... soon....

When the manager thinks that its appropriate and the 'scandal' has died out.

I want Mii-chan back! Bring her back!!!

='(

Be strong Mii-chan!

Judgemental me

Who am I to judge people? I'm not a perfect human being myself. But most of the time I just can't help it. Its like second nature to me....

Anyway sidetrack~

Whenever I see this video, I'll think of Port Dickson... =/ Damn.... The future that I will never have.

When you are stuck in between...

So we bid farewell to 2012, and say hello to 2013.

Exciting isn't it?

Must be, we survived the apocalypse anyway. We have a tale to be told for many generations to come...

Or do we?

I wonder if an 'apocalypse' can be a slow bleeding one. One that gradually gets worse with time, and not the expected BANG! End of the World. We are all dead and its time to either go to heaven or hell. Period.

Last chance of salvation.

Religion isn't really my sort of thing after I went 'rogue' 2 3 years. I've tried to believing, to truly submerge myself into religion for 1 and a half years, searching and waiting.

Good things come to people who search. Knock and it shall be open/given unto you.

But after all of that, all I get was a pat on the back, but that feeling of what I know is true, was just never there.

I still believe there's more to live than just living our daily life. More to be done, more to be seen.

And I shall continue looking for it. I've been relaxing and burying myself into mundane jobs for the past 1 year. Its time I get back into the game.

SO, lets stick to the 'ritual' that we do each year.

My new year resolution this year is to:

1. Get more spiritually intact with the greater power (If any does exist).
2. Continue my search to find THE truth, or my own truth. Whichever one it may be.

and on a side note

3. Buff up, get fatter. I just don't want to be a skinny tall guy any more. Maybe I am THE skinny tall guy everyone have reference to. But I just don't want to be that.

All in all, this year's resolution is about change.

Aren't all new year's resolution 'bout that?

PS: Can't use the same thing I said last year. 'My new year's resolution is the same as the year before, and the year before cause I don't remember it anymore.

I hope everyone has a wonder new year and may 2013 brings the best out in us.

For those who read all the way down here, here's a little word from our *cough* sponsors