Monday, October 24, 2011

I dreamt a dream =]

Love the giggles when you wake up from a funny dream, or that fast pacing moments when something from your Book of Terror chases you.

But what if you woke up with a contended smile and a heavy sigh?

This was just that particular dream.

I was with this girl. She seems resemble someone from my past *Name will henceforth be H, as I know that person hates me by now*. She was blind and we were dating each other. Ignoring her disability, I continue to shower her with care and it was bliss.

Till..

We were going to the cinema to watch a movie and I bump into a group of friends. Friends I rarely talk to but could we could all rely on each other since we share a common history *ehem, KYS*. And I began to talk to this guy, A. To be honest, this guy got kicked out from KYS back then and at first I find him kind of snoobish, but when I was 'rising', he began to mingle around with me. [I guess back then, jocks mingle with you once you turn semi-jock.].

Back to the story...

We talked and talked. It's been years since we have last seen each other and somehow in the mist of that, I forgot about H. When I remember and say goodbye to A and went to look for H. She was sitting down, facing a huge green teddy bear. [Don't ask me why it was green. Maybe it was because both our favourite colour were green]. She was talking to it, telling IT her secrets and her hopes, crying in between.

I felt bad, terribly bad. 



She was still there, waiting for someone that had abandoned her.


How could I have left her? Forgotten about her to talk to some acquaintance of mine?

I went towards her and she looked at me. Staring back at me was that angry stare of her's, normally accompanied with a silent hmpffff. I said nothing and hug her closely, bringing her small little head towards my chest.

And that is when I woke up.


Which had me saying, 'H, I'm sorry for that one time I let you down.'

I cried a while and I wonder. Is this my subconscious mind telling me what I have known all this while? Don't be Mr. Nice Guy and be friendly and helpful to everybody, cause that one person won't feel special at all. And whilst you are out there helping others, she is back there all alone, snuggling that one little thing you bought for her.

I remember how she cherish that promise ring that wasn't worth much. And I remember how we would travel distance just to meet up with each other. And then I recall the times where she would calmly scold me for sending her gifts from halfway across the globe, while secretly smiling when she read the notes and cards I sent her.

'This dream had reminded me on how precious things are to me. And how ignorant I have been of them. They should not be treated equally and Adrian, you have to learn how to differentiate these needs.'


I'm still waiting for that one day where I can sit and enjoy the sunset with the person I love.

Sunrise was a bitch but we had fun = ]

PS: I am surprise that the blind girl resembles H. It was so long ago but I guess that was one of my biggest regret. It wasn't a mistake but I wish it could have ended somewhat happier.

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