A simple note to whatever that is in my mind

After Valentines Day was over, my mind was swirling with thoughts on love. Previously, I couldn't understand why people say that the one that you love, you would like to hear their voice 24/7, call them randomly and still feel good even if both of you are not talking, that just knowing that they are on the other end of the line is good enough and she would be the first person that you want to see when you wake up and so on.

Practically I guess the crushes I have before this are just kinda partial fake emotions of myself in order to find someone, well just to be with. The reason behind this is that I can't realy survive well on my on and I need people (Yes, you!) for me to continue on living. Dumped me in an island with no one else, you will see me well fed and so on. I have the basic survival skills but mentally, I will be dead. Probably a psycho by then, lunatic to be precise. =/

Cause recently, I'm having these feelings. I feel happy when I'm on the phone, even if we are just having plain talks and nothing important. Usual boring question like how was your day and so, it just doesn't matter anymore. Its kinda like an euphoric feeling, like taking estacy but the pros to it is that it has no side effect. (Well, besides spending hours on the phone and not studying >.< )

To add on, I don't realy mind if the one on the other side loves me or not. True enough, if you love someone you expect them to show some reactions to you. I am someone who only mix with people who actually take the effort to talk to me. For those people who takes me for granted, sorry but I'm better off spending time with people that wants a sincere friendship and has no alter motives. (You know who you are.)

So I guess I finnaly understand why people have those perceptions and feeling on love. Call it a post Valentines Day debrief.

Cause thats what it feels like.