1. I wish I never knew you, to be completely lost and not knowing you. My life would (actually) definitely be different. I wouldn't be where I am today, think how I think, and act how I act today. Heck, I might still be going after my dream of becoming an environmentalist who majors in studies of animals and plants.
My major mistake was deciding to go with you and I ended up walking along this path on my own. I did not have the opportunity to bail out and I am where I am today because of that.
My childhood experience, my part and parcel of growing up, me mingling and mixing with my family members. It was so subtle back then. The four of us, embarking on a new journey together. especially with you. You were my best friend, and we were suppose to be with each other from that time onwards. But you left, and betrayed I was forced to be on this road.
So what I wish deep down inside that I had never greeted that hello, and gotten to know you. After all, you are a complete stranger to me now, so what do I have to lose if I had chosen to ignore you? Alas those actions all those years ago are the actions that made me live my life wondering 'what ifs' everyday.
2. Following my mum when she was on a Cendol craze. Now I can't even stand the taste of Cendol!
3. Believing in 'when you('re) save/mature/old enough, you can buy/get it' sayings. Seriously, I think this is just another way of parents saying 'No, you can't have it.' Imagine yourself cutting down on food and trying everything to raise an amount of money and when you finally have it or waited all those years still to be denied over it.
4. Controlling myself when I really should. What the heck? We live only once, so why do I restrain myself and put so many restriction on myself. If I want to do it, I should.
5. Throwing 'Hippo' away. Yes mum, it was out of pure resentment/rebellious attitude towards you that I did that. Naive and stupid of me, why yes. But I still miss that green 'hippo' that I grew up with when I was a child, the one I got from the amusement park. Seriously, things that we work for (or in this case won) tends to have much more sentimental value than those given.
6. The last one, number 6th. What do I wish I have never done? Multiple occasion but saying 'yes' when I was under pressure or when I was being narrowed down to a situation where it is do or die and I don't really know what to do or choose. Seriously, I need time to think. Peer pressure, I blame you!
Just one note to go with this : The past is as important to use as the present or the future. For without it, we could neither grow nor learn from out mistakes. Those who forget their past are condemn to repeat them again. Therefore remembering events that were either happy,sad or angry just serves as a reminder to yourself. We lock ourself from painful memories, cloaking our existence with subtle things. But we never forget the ones we hurt, or being hurt from. It is a part of us and deny as you may, you can't run from it.
I treasure the past. Regret as I may (as with this post), these are what I have done, and I have to live with them no matter what. Whatever happens, I am headstrong with my own beliefs and perception. No one can change that.
My major mistake was deciding to go with you and I ended up walking along this path on my own. I did not have the opportunity to bail out and I am where I am today because of that.
My childhood experience, my part and parcel of growing up, me mingling and mixing with my family members. It was so subtle back then. The four of us, embarking on a new journey together. especially with you. You were my best friend, and we were suppose to be with each other from that time onwards. But you left, and betrayed I was forced to be on this road.
So what I wish deep down inside that I had never greeted that hello, and gotten to know you. After all, you are a complete stranger to me now, so what do I have to lose if I had chosen to ignore you? Alas those actions all those years ago are the actions that made me live my life wondering 'what ifs' everyday.
Okay the first one was kind of personal but as it was the major fork road of my life, I just have to note it down. It lead through with me making mistakes, one after another and meeting people whom I shouldn't meet. We all have regrets, and this was one of my biggest one.
2. Following my mum when she was on a Cendol craze. Now I can't even stand the taste of Cendol!
3. Believing in 'when you('re) save/mature/old enough, you can buy/get it' sayings. Seriously, I think this is just another way of parents saying 'No, you can't have it.' Imagine yourself cutting down on food and trying everything to raise an amount of money and when you finally have it or waited all those years still to be denied over it.
4. Controlling myself when I really should. What the heck? We live only once, so why do I restrain myself and put so many restriction on myself. If I want to do it, I should.
5. Throwing 'Hippo' away. Yes mum, it was out of pure resentment/rebellious attitude towards you that I did that. Naive and stupid of me, why yes. But I still miss that green 'hippo' that I grew up with when I was a child, the one I got from the amusement park. Seriously, things that we work for (or in this case won) tends to have much more sentimental value than those given.
6. The last one, number 6th. What do I wish I have never done? Multiple occasion but saying 'yes' when I was under pressure or when I was being narrowed down to a situation where it is do or die and I don't really know what to do or choose. Seriously, I need time to think. Peer pressure, I blame you!
Not related to this note but it appears that my actions several days ago angered somebody. To I, I seriously couldn't be bothered less of what you think of me. That particular sentence of yours, I had heard it a countless time from you. Make sure you mean it this time and don't let me see that look on your face when you suddenly say 'Hi' again or that sudden appearance of liking my pictures or commenting on my status. I don't need a two faced acquittance.
Just one note to go with this : The past is as important to use as the present or the future. For without it, we could neither grow nor learn from out mistakes. Those who forget their past are condemn to repeat them again. Therefore remembering events that were either happy,sad or angry just serves as a reminder to yourself. We lock ourself from painful memories, cloaking our existence with subtle things. But we never forget the ones we hurt, or being hurt from. It is a part of us and deny as you may, you can't run from it.
I treasure the past. Regret as I may (as with this post), these are what I have done, and I have to live with them no matter what. Whatever happens, I am headstrong with my own beliefs and perception. No one can change that.
I am what my past shapes me to be.
I am what I see myself to be.
I am, who I am.
I am what I see myself to be.
I am, who I am.
I don't think I ever meant this post to be like this, ranting about stuffs. Well, I'm sleep deprieved. Sue me.
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